A Christmas Flight
by Vinividivinci
Summary: The Team are each going their separate ways for Christmas when Jack gets into trouble.  Will they find him in time?
1. Chapter 1

_**I've loved reading all the wonderful, sweet and fluffy Christmas stories. I had to do my own but, in typical fashion, had to add angst and whump – but it is a Christmas story. I hope you enjoy.**_

At the last minute he'd decided to fly to Minnesota. Driving at this time of year was iffy at best and anyway, he didn't know if he could be away that long. He'd hadn't planned on going, thinking that Daniel and Teal'c would be around and they'd spend Christmas together. Sam was, of course, spending it with Pete and the 'soon-to-be' in-laws. He wouldn't let himself think about that.

In the end, it turned out that both his male friends also had other plans. Teal'c was heading off world to see Ishta – that romance appeared to be heating up quite nicely, thank you! Daniel too had something on the go. He wouldn't say too much, which was surprising for the usually verbose archaeologist, but it sounded like he was off to a dig in some exotic – although earth-bound – location.

So, that left him at loose ends. He'd received a couple of invites – one from Walter and another from Ferretti – but he knew that accepting would probably mean a nerve racking Christmas for them and their families. Nothing like having a General, and your commanding officer, show up for a family meal to make things less than comfortable for all concerned.

It was different with his own – or former – team. They knew him well enough and had been through enough together that none of them stood on ceremony around him. Well, that wasn't quite true, he realized. Sam still tried to maintain some professional protocol, which was even more evident since she'd gotten involved with the cop.

So, the alternate plans of his friends had left him at loose ends. When Daniel and Teal'c had realized, both had offered to change their plans and stay back. He had, of course, waved them off with a simple "don't be ridiculous! Go! Have fun. I'll be fine."

Daniel had looked at him with narrowed eyes but, when Jack had insisted, he had agreed, albeit somewhat hesitantly. Sam hadn't offered to stay – no surprise there – but had looked upset. She always felt bad for any of her teammates if she felt they weren't 'happy'. He knew she would have felt the same if it had been any one of them in the same situation.

"Come on guys, lighten up." He'd said to the worried faces of his three closest friends. "I'll be just fine. I'm actually looking forward to the break. I wouldn't mind some time to just relax and watch a bit of TV. I'm a big boy and it's not going to hurt me to spend some time alone. And anyway, I've gotten invites from both Walter and Ferretti", (he didn't need to tell them he hadn't accepted).

Finally, the team agreed to go ahead with their plans, convinced Jack was perfectly okay. After much convincing they finally believed him when he said he was looking forward to the peace and quiet. They knew how crazy his life was now that he was in charge of the SGC. So, with relatively easy minds, they headed off for their Christmas break.

Jack had spent one full day clearing up all the last minute details at the base. In actual fact there wasn't that much to do. Walter had pretty much taken care of everything. When he realized that he was actually keeping his people from leaving – not wanting to go when the General was still there – he cleaned off his desk and grabbed his coat.

"Merry Christmas Walter", he said, walking out of his office. "Go home and see your family. I'll see you in a week."

"Merry Christmas Sir. Thank you and I hope you have a good holiday."

"I will. And oh, if I haven't said it before Sergeant, thanks for everything. You're a good man and I couldn't do the job without you."

O'Neill turned at that and quickly headed towards the corridor leading to the elevators. He could tell Walter was touched by his words but he didn't want to deal with the thanks – or emotion – of the little sergeant.

"Thank you Sir!" Walter called after him. "I'm proud to serve under you." But the last was uttered under his breath. He knew the General well enough to know the man didn't want, or need, the thanks of his team. It was one of the things that endeared his men, and women, to him. Harriman stood there a moment, considering the man who had just left. He only wished that O'Neill could experience something wonderful this Christmas. The General deserved it.

Jack spent that evening at home, eating pizza and watching old movies. While at first it was okay, after a while he began to feel restless. He wandered around his house a bit, looked in the fridge three or four times (not really hungry), opened a few bottles of beer but ended up not finishing any of them. Finally, at about midnight, he decided he needed to get away. The cabin looked better all the time. At least there he could take long walks and breath in the fresh, clean air of the wilderness.

He arranged to catch a quick flight early the next morning. He'd discovered that one of the few perks of being a General was being able to do things like that at the last minute. Nobody questioned him. If a General wanted to travel on a flight at the last minute there would always be room. To give himself credit, however, he had made sure he wasn't displacing someone else.

The officer in charge had assured him there was a seat available on one flight. It was a transport so wouldn't be terribly comfy but he'd traveled in worse conditions. He'd arranged for a car to pick him up at 5:00 am and he'd headed to Peterson to catch his flight.

Okay, the officer definitely hadn't been kidding. The plane was a Hercules transport plane and was carrying vehicles – jeeps to be exact. Other than the cockpit, the only seats were a couple of pull down metal seats in the back. It was both noisy and cold. The pilot apologized profusely, as if it was his fault a Brigadier General was traveling in less than ideal circumstances.

"It's okay Captain. My choice", he waved at the pilot, a career air force officer by the look of him. He looked older than Jack. "You just get me there in one piece and I'll be happy. I've traveled in worse." He settled in, trying to make himself as comfortable as possible. Hopefully it wouldn't be a long flight.

As the pilot and co-pilot readied the plane he thought about where he was at this point in his life. He thought briefly of all that had happened to him, both the good and the bad. Career-wise he was fortunate. He'd never really thought it possible that one day he'd reach the rank of General. Too much of his career had been sidestepping, if not actually disobeying, orders. He'd also refused to suck up or 'play politics' to get ahead. He recognized that in many ways it was luck (if you could call being on the front lines of a galactic fight, luck) that had given him this opportunity.

He then thought about his personal life and admitted to himself that it had definitely not gone where he had wanted or hoped in his younger years. Here he was, middle-aged, successful and yet without anyone to share his life. Oh, he had friends, good friends, that meant the world to him and who he knew would be there for him always. But that wasn't the same as having someone to come home to or a family to worry over, love and care for.

His son would be 18 this year. As he felt the plane begin to taxi down the runway he allowed his mind to wander to what that would be like. He could imagine sitting around the kitchen table, discussing with his son which colleges to apply to. Charlie had been a smart kid and had always done well in school. He was sure he'd have wanted to go to university.

Jack wondered what he would have studied. Charlie'd always been interested in science and he wouldn't have been surprised to have seen his boy go into something like physics or engineering. He smiled briefly – he could see him wanting to study astrophysics – he'd also loved the stars like his father.

It was something he'd never ever told his teammates, but one of his aversions to scientists had been the fact that it reminded him too much of Charlie. In those early days he had avoided anything that would remind him of his son.

The thought of astrophysics then brought him back to the one subject he was really trying to avoid. Sam. He was happy for her, really he was. He cared deeply for her and wanted only the best for her. He knew that wasn't him, couldn't be him. He wanted her to have a life, to enjoy what every women, or man for that matter, should and that was a home and a family. He prayed that Pete was the right man for her. Other than the one little incident he believed that Shanahan was a good man and Jack knew he loved Sam.

Of course, he didn't think Pete was good enough for his Colonel – but, and here he laughed; he knew that he wouldn't think anyone was good enough. Kind of like a father, he decided, although he quickly shied away from that thought. Just because he knew there couldn't ever be anything between them, there was no way he wanted to think of himself as a father figure to Samantha Carter.

The problem he faced was that as much as he wanted her to have a life, the fact that she had gone and got one was killing him. He'd never let her know – he'd never want to burden her with the knowledge that he had been crushed by her moving on – but the thought of her with Shanahan was devastating.

He laughed again, this time in self-derision. You had your chance at home and family O'Neill, don't begrudge that to someone else.

He decided it was best to stop thinking in this vein. It would only depress him and the last thing he needed was to spend the next week bummed out and alone. He turned then and looked out the small window, noticing that the weather had turned. When they'd left Colorado it had been cold but sunny. Now dark clouds had gathered around them and he could feel that the wind had picked up. It was definitely shaping up for a storm.

He undid his seat belt and made his way to the cockpit. The ride was getting bumpy and he had to hold on to whatever purchase he could find to keep from falling on his ass. He finally made it to the front and knocked on the little door and then opened it.

"Looks like a storm. Everything okay?" he asked the two crewmembers.

"Hello Sir." The co-pilot turned his head and acknowledged the General. He quickly looked back to his controls. "Yeah, we've had word a bad storm is approaching. We're flying just above it for now but it's getting worse. We're gonna have to try and land at Ellsworth. I'm sorry sir"

Ellsworth was in South Dakota – not his choice for a place to spend Christmas – but it was definitely better than getting caught in a storm.

"Not to worry Captain. You do what you have to. Let me know if I can help."

"Thank you Sir. I think the best thing is for you to buckle up. It's gonna get real rough in a minute."

"Okay." With a quick 'good luck', he began to head back to his seat. He'd almost made it when the plane hit tremendous turbulence. It dipped suddenly, without warning. The next thing Jack knew he was literally flying through the air. He came to a quick stop up against one of the jeeps that was tied down for transport. He could feel a sharp pain as his arm connected with something and then he was thrown violently down. As the air was knocked out of him he realized that the plane was shaking wildly and had suddenly moved into a dive.

Jack tried to grab on to whatever he could find, hoping to pull himself back to his seat and buckle himself in. It began to get harder as the plane began a sharper decline. As the shuddering got harder he knew he – and the pilots – were in real trouble. Knowing that he wasn't going to make it back in time he tried to brace himself between the tires of the jeep. With a quick prayer he closed his eyes, waiting for the end.

**Denver**

Sam's cheeks felt like they were going to be permanently frozen in an ridiculous smile. She'd spent the morning talking to Pete's Mom, aunts, sisters and nieces. It was traditional, in his family that the women all got together and baked while the men and boys played games and watched sports.

She couldn't say anything, but the fact was she would much rather have been in the other room with the guys. She really didn't have much to talk about with the women – their lives were so different from hers.

She'd had some good women friends over the years; Janet immediately came to mind although she quickly let go of that thought. She didn't need the sadness that thoughts of the doctor and her untimely death brought to mind. The problem was that most of her time was spent with men and she was much more used to dealing with them than with women whose biggest worry was whether or not their husbands had mowed the lawn or fixed the bathroom taps.

She also wished she could be out playing pool. She would have definitely whipped some male Shanahan butt! It has become obvious to her, in a very short while, that Pete came from a very traditional family. The women all stayed home and were wives and mothers. The men worked, watched sports and loved having 'the little woman' at home. She knew she was being catty – the women were nice and she actually admired those who chose to make home and family their priority. It was what she fought for after all. It was just that she had fought long and hard, in her career, to be seen as equal to the men. In this environment her skills and talents were considered pretty much useless.

To be fair, Pete never treated her that way. She had to wonder, however, how he'd feel when they were married. Would he begin to resent her wanting to work? Would he expect her to stay home, join the PTA and knitting bee or would he be okay with her going to work to save the world every day?

She took a deep breath and sighed. Smiling broadly at Pete's very sweet mother, she continued to cut the cookie dough into Christmas shapes. For a moment she pictured the face of one Brigadier General and wondered where he was. She wouldn't allow herself to wish she was sharing Christmas with him.

"Sam", it was Derek, Pete's brother. "Phone call for you. He says his name is Walter. You got another guy on the side?" this was said with a grin and a wink – Pete was walking slightly behind him, a frown on his face.

"No, that's someone from work. I had to give this number as we're ah - sort of on call." She smiled at Derek and took the phone.

"Yes Walter? Carter here." She listened intently for a moment. Pete instantly knew something was wrong as her face grew white and tense.

"Yes of course. I can be there in a couple of hours." She looked up and met Pete's eyes. He did not look happy. With a small shrug she kept listening. "Okay Walter, I'll be ready. Do you have the address? ….. Okay good. Thanks." She hung up the phone and looked at if for a minute. The room had grown quiet, as everyone seemed to realize something had happened.

"What is it Sam?" Pete finally asked. This was one aspect of her job he hated. He never knew when she'd suddenly get called away.

"Huh?" She looked up at Pete in surprise, startled to realize that she was in his parent's kitchen, surrounded by his family. "Oh, I'm sorry." She turned to his mother. "I apologize Mrs. Shanahan" (she'd refused to call her 'Mom' even though she'd been asked to do so. As far as she was concerned she would only ever have one Mom), I have to leave. An emergency has come up."

"What is it Sam?" Pete asked, obviously upset. "Can't it wait? Can't you at least celebrate Christmas for God's sake? For once why don't they ask someone else to come to their rescue?"

She just looked at him blankly. It took a moment for him to realize that she looked like she was in shock. "Sam? What's wrong? What's happened?" although he knew she probably couldn't really say considering what her job was.

"Oh", she suddenly seemed to snap out of whatever had affected her. "There's been an accident. Ja … my… the General's plane went down over Nebraska. They don't know anything yet, the storm's too bad. I have to go back to the base."

"But Sam, you'd be better of here, with family." Pete tried to take her in his arms. "There's nothing you can do and they'll have emergency crews out."

"No", she pulled back, not wanting him right now. "No, I need to be with my team. I'm sorry Pete but they're my family." Suddenly realizing how that must have sounded she turned in apology to his family who were still standing silently. "I'm so sorry. You've all been very kind but I've worked with the General for many years, he's a close friend. The rest of my team will be there as well so - you see – I have to be there too." Turning to Pete she continued. "I don't know if there's anything I can do or not, Pete, but I have to be there in case. Please understand, I don't want to hurt you and I'm so grateful for the kindness shown by your family but I have to go. It's better anyway. It wouldn't be a very happy Christmas with me here worrying."

Pete looked at her soberly for a minute. Something was bothering him beyond her leaving but he couldn't quite put his finger on it. "Okay, I understand Sam. Just let me get my things and we'll go."

"Go? What? No Pete, you stay here. They're sending a car to pick me up. You stay here with your family."

"No way. How can I let my fiancé deal with something like this and me stay and enjoy Christmas? You need me with you Babe."

This was the last thing she wanted. The thought of Pete tagging along made her want to scream. Why that was, considering she was going to marry him, didn't even cross her mind at this moment. She just knew she needed to be with Daniel and Teal'c, not with Peter.

"I'm sorry Pete but no, you can't come. It's classified and they won't let you on the base." This was the first time, in their relationship, that she'd out and out lied to him. There had been times she'd had to say she couldn't tell him something but she'd never actually lied. Again, she didn't think that it was odd to be doing this to the man she supposedly loved.

"Classified!" he practically shouted. "What the hell's classified about it? The man's been in a plane crash – he's probably already dead – why would that be classified."

"He's not dead! I'd know if he was dead!" she shouted back. The rest of Pete's family began to get very uncomfortable, realizing there was something going on here that they couldn't discern. "I have to go. I'll call you as soon as I know anything." Turning to Pete's Mom she spoke again. "I'll just get my things. Thank you for a lovely time and I hope you have a wonderful Christmas. I'm so sorry about this." With a small smile she turned and headed to the bedroom she and Pete were to share. His Mom muttered a quiet, 'that's okay, nice to have you." as she left the room.

After she'd gone Pete's brother and sisters looked at him. He simply shrugged, angry and hurt. "I don't know", he answered their silent questions. "She works for the Air Force and a lot of what she does is classified."

"Who is this General she's worried about?" asked Derek.

"General O'Neill. They've worked together for years."

"Sounds like more than a working relationship. She was pretty upset."

Pete didn't know what to say. He'd never liked O'Neill; not that the man had ever treated him badly, it's just he always felt like there was something going on that he couldn't understand. He wished it had remained that way because now, he was beginning to get an inkling. And he really didn't like where his mind was leading him. Turning to his brother he spoke softly, "yeah, I think you're right."

**New Mexico**

Daniel wiped the sweat off his face. He was sure he was covered with dust and must look a sight. He was, however, feeling great. It'd been a while since he'd been on a dig on earth. It was great just getting into the archaeology and not having to worry if some alien enemy was going to pop out and try and fry him. It also helped that Sarah was here with him.

She'd invited him on the dig and, after much soul-searching he'd decided to accept. It had been years now since Sh'are died and he knew it was time to enter the world of the living again. He'd loved being married and knew it was time to get out there and meet people. He'd always liked Sarah and thought there might be some chance with her so, here he was, on his knees in New Mexico, digging up the remains of an ancient civilization.

That evening they were going to go and have supper together, just the two of them. He'd see where things went from there. He knew she was interested – he wasn't the naïve young man of a few years ago – but he wanted to take things slow. Or not – who knows, he grinned, this could become a great holiday.

"Daniel", he heard Sarah call out. Wondering if it was time for lunch already, he looked up. She was hurrying towards him. As she got closer he could see that she didn't look happy. In fact, she looked extremely worried. He stood up slowly, a feeling of dread washing over him.

"What is it?" he asked soberly.

'It's General O'Neill. He's been in a plane crash. There's no word yet on whether he's okay or not. There's a bad storm and they haven't located the plane yet. There's a plane waiting to fly you back to Colorado."

"God", he began to brush himself off, not quite sure what to do or say. Of all things he'd expected it wasn't to hear that one of his friends had been injured while here on earth. Why not he didn't know – it was just that he'd always expected that they'd all be safe when on their home planet.

"When…?" He looked at Sarah, their plans for the evening totally forgotten.

"The plane will be ready to head back in an hour. Come on, I've got the jeep. You'll just have time to shower and change."

As he got in the jeep he gave an ironic laugh. Jack had always accused him of interrupting at the most inopportune times. "Back at ya Jack", he said to himself. But there was no humor in his thought. He just prayed his friend was okay.

**SGC**

The gate continued to spin, the incoming traveler anxiously awaited. Walter watched as the blue iris formed. After a few seconds the figure of Teal'c, dressed in robes, came through. Walter sighed. He felt better as the first member of SG1 arrived.

Teal'c had been enjoying his time with Ishta. With the battle they both still waged it was not often they got to spend time with each other. Their night together had been …. amazing, he grinned to himself. Anyone who knew Teal'c would have been surprised at that expression as it wasn't one he often allowed himself. He then frowned immiediately - he was less than pleased that he had been called back to earth.

He knew, however, that O'Neill wouldn't have asked him back if it hadn't been important. That was why he was confused when his friend was not there to meet him. He looked up and saw only the figure of Walter, at his usual spot in the control room.

"Sorry to call you back Teal'c – after you hit the Infirmary you're to go to the Briefing Room? Colonel Carter and Dr. Jackson are on their way."

Teal'c nodded his head and turned towards the Infirmary. As he walked he wondered where O'Neill was. Walter hadn't mentioned him.

By the time he'd been checked over by the nurses and Dr. Brightman he'd heard what had happened. Worried about his friend, he quickly made his way to the Briefing Room. On the way he met Daniel Jackson.

"Teal'c! They called you back. I'm glad."

"Daniel. Have you heard anything more?" Teal'c turned and walked beside Daniel as they headed down the corridor.

"No. The last I heard they think the plane went down somewhere in Nebraska. It was on it's way to Minnesota and got caught in a freak storm. The last contact they had with it it had just crossed into Nebraska."

"He was on his way to his cabin?" Teal'c asked. "I did not know he had planned to go for the holiday."

"Neither did I. I thought he said he wanted to spend some time at home, relaxing." Daniel sounded confused.

"I believe he said that to make us feel it was all right to leave him alone. You know O'Neill. He would not want us to worry about him. 

"Yeah, you're right. God, I can't believe I let him convince me. You'd think I'd know him well enough by now. Not only did we all leave him, but then he decided to go to his cabin and now – he may be dead."

"It is too soon to be thinking that. You know General O'Neill. He will come out of this. He is strong."

"He may be strong Teal'c, but he's only human." At that moment the two men arrived at the Briefing Room. It seemed eerie for them to be here and not have Jack barrel in from his office.

As they entered they could see Sam was there already, sitting quietly in her usual spot. This time she was neither looking through notes or chatting with anyone. She sat and stared straight ahead and didn't even seem aware when her teammates entered.

"Sam." When she didn't answer Daniel walked up to her and laid a hand on her shoulder.

"Sam", he repeated. This time she glanced up. When she saw Daniel she smiled, although tears gathered in her eyes. She reached up and took the hand that was still resting on her shoulder.

"Daniel. I'm so glad you're here." She looked over at her other 'alien' friend. "And you too Teal'c. I …. was feeling kind of alone. I kept expecting the General to walk in." Both Daniel and Teal'c could hear the sob in her voice.

"I too find it hard that O'Neill is not present." Teal'c walked over and laid his hand on her other shoulder. The three friends stood for a moment, just taking comfort in one another. The two men then sat down, in their usual places.

"What are we waiting for?" asked Daniel. Just then the door to Jack's office opened and out walked General Hammond. The three friends didn't know whether to be pleased that he was here or worried, knowing it must be serious if he had been called all the way from Washington.

"General" All three stood up, Sam because he was a superior officer, the others out of respect.

"Sit people. Normally I'd say it was good to see you but I'm afraid the circumstances are less than pleasant."

"Do we know anything Sir?", asked Sam. She was having trouble maintaining any semblance of professionalism although seeing Hammond had helped.

"All we know is that the plane lost communications at around 8:37 a.m. central time. They had just entered into Nebraska airspace. The search is focusing on the area just west of Lincoln. The problem is the weather. They're still experiencing blizzard like conditions so visibility is practically nil. Things are supposed to clear later this evening but hopefully we'll find the plane before then."

None of them needed to say anything because they all knew that the longer it took to find the plane the worse the situation. If anyone was hurt, which was likely, the sooner they got help the better. Add to that the weather conditions and they knew the situation was critical.

"What kind of plane was it Sir?" asked Sam. That could make a difference. If he'd been traveling in a small plane there was more likelihood that the accident would be deadly.

"It was a Hercules transport. It was just the two pilots and Jack. He had hopped on for a ride to Minnesota. The on-duty officer at Peterson said he called late last night asking if there was an available flight. He said he was going to bump someone so General O'Neill could ride a passenger flight but he refused; said he wasn't going to keep some soldier from spending Christmas with his or her family just because he wanted to travel at the last minute. So instead he opted to take the transport.

"Sounds like Jack", said Daniel quietly. They all silently agreed knowing O'Neill would never use his rank to gain favor. It was one of the things they all loved about their friend.

"What can we do General Hammond?" Teal'c asked what they had all been thinking.

"I don't know if there's much we can do Teal'c. I just knew you'd all want to be here."

"Is there no way we can make our way to Nebraska Sir? We'd like to be there and help with the rescue if possible." Sam sat forward in her seat as if her very presence would convince Hammond.

The General sighed and looked troubled. He had known, right from the moment he was contacted, that Jack's team would insist on doing something. It was why he'd had them all called back from their vacations. He'd felt bad but knew they would never have forgiven him if he hadn't. Still, there was really nothing they could do that wasn't already being done. He looked up at them then and stopped short. What was he thinking? This was SG1 – of course they could do what others couldn't. It was in their very natures. It was what, and who, SG1 was.

"I'll get you there if I have to fly you myself", the General answered. "I don't know if there's anything you can do but you can give it your best. I know Jack would do the same for any of you."

"Thank you Sir/Thank you General", came from the three members of SG1.

The General stood up. "Walter has all the details. Go get yourselves kitted out. You'll need extreme weather gear obviously. I'll have a chopper waiting at Peterson." He walked towards his office, knowing he had to call and update the President. Just as he was about to enter his office he turned back. "Bring him back people, bring him back."

By twelve o'clock the team was getting into the helicopter and buckling themselves in. They had said very little to each other after General Hammond had left the briefing room, each of them thinking of their friend, who they hoped was hanging on.

**Black Hills, South Dakota**

His first thought, on waking, was that he was cold. He shouldn't be cold – he'd fixed the heat in his cabin last year and it should be nice and toasty. Must have had a power outage, he thought. He'd have to get up and see to the generator.

He really didn't want to move though. It's not that he was comfortable – far from it in fact – it was more that he felt tired, so tired. He forced himself to open his eyes. When he was finally able to focus his eyes it took him a minute to recognize that he wasn't in his bedroom in his cabin. He couldn't tell, at first, where he was. It seemed dark, although light was peaking in from a hole in the wall.

Hole in the wall? Not only was light coming in (although it was faint) but he could see snow swirling in as well. He tried to look around and it was at that point he realized he was lying on the floor up against what appeared to be a tire. Even more confused, he attempted to move. It was then that the pain hit.

"Oh God", he gasped, as the pain spiked through him. He fell back, which made it worse. The pain didn't seem to be localized but was spread throughout his body. With a small whimper he forced himself to calm down. He concentrated on his breathing – in, out, in out, until finally he was able to regain some semblance of control.

Okay, I'm hurt. Good one O'Neill – very smart. Now, let's figure out exactly where and how. He slowly began to take an inventory so he would know how bad it was.

It was only as he started to try and concentrate, which was very difficult in his state, that he realized his face was wet. Looking to see if any of the snow had drifted in, he couldn't figure out where the water was coming from. He wiped his hand over his face, trying to stop the moisture from dripping in his eyes. It was only as he brought his hand down that he recognized that it wasn't water, but blood, that was dripping down his face.

Found one wound, he thought. Carefully reaching up he felt around his head. "Damn!" he muttered as he felt the gash over his temple. That explained the blood and the confusion. "Must have a concussion." He gently pushed around the wound and, although it hurt, he was relieved when there was no movement of the skull. Hopefully, no fracture.

He then decided it was time to roll over to his back, rather than lying on his left side. That was definitely a mistake, he realized a second later. Gasping, he had to take deep breaths to try and quell the nausea that rose into the back of his throat.

Something was definitely wrong, he just couldn't tell quite what. This time he tried moving, very slowly. Using his right arm, which seemed to be okay although a bit bruised, he braced himself. It was as he began to roll that he felt the twinge in his chest. Yup – something broken there – hopefully just a couple of cracked ribs. They could be painful but maybe not too serious unless they'd punctured something.

The next twinge (okay, O'Neill – keep calling it a 'twinge' and maybe you'll believe that's all it is. There was no way he was going to refer to it as 'the shooting agony' – nope, no way. Anyway, the next 'twinge' was in his arm. Definitely broken. He gingerly felt down the arm. Oh yeah – broken – and not just a simple break. He could feel that the bone was protruding out of his forearm. So, compound fracture. That was not so good.

As for other injuries it was difficult to tell as everything hurt like hell. He was able to move his legs, thank God – at least no paralysis – but they hurt so badly he wanted to cry out. He stopped himself, not sure if anyone else was around or not. He laughed softly to himself. Worried about your machismo even now, O'Neill.

He hoped against hope that he was simply suffering from some bad bruising. It took him a few minutes but he was eventually able to get himself up to a seated position. The dizziness that overtook him almost caused him to drop back but he managed to hang on.

He looked around again and finally figured out that he was in a plane and that it was snowing out. He tried to remember what mission he was on. What country had he been sent to this time? It must be Russia or central Europe, he decided. Wherever it was, he knew he had to get out and get help before they came. If he was found he'd be captured and they'd most likely torture him to get information from him. He couldn't let that happen.

With a tremendous groan he rolled over until he was on his one good hand and knees. He had to keep his left arm pressed against his chest although the effort was practically killing him.

With a deep breath, and a small prayer, He sat back so he was resting on his heels.

"God damn it!" He coughed, which sent another barb of pain through him. "All right O'Neill", he gasped. "Get your ass in gear and get moving." Grabbing the overturned jeep beside him he managed to pull himself to his feet, swearing the entire time. Eventually he made it to a vertical position and stood there, swaying and cursing, but managing to keep standing.

He looked around and was able to see the extent of the damage. The plane had clearly crashed. The interior of the plane – a transport – was almost completely trashed. He looked over to the one side where the pull down seats were located. There was nothing there but twisted metal. He couldn't remember anything clearly but thought briefly that it was a good thing he hadn't been sitting in one of those seats or there'd be nothing but minced O'Neill left. The one area that seemed to have escaped any major damage was a small corner beside the jeep he been lying against. It must have given him some measure of protection. Good thing it hadn't rolled on top of him.

The side of the plane had been opened like a can of sardines, the metal twisted back, allowing the outside in. He glanced out but could see little but swirling snow. There was light, so it must have been daytime, but it was impossible to say exactly when.

He stood there considering that for a moment until it dawned to him to look at his watch. The concussion had clearly knocked almost all sense out of him.

His watch read 11:26 – which he assumed was in the morning. He had no idea what time he'd taken off or how long he'd been here although from the amount of snow that had made its way inside, and the air temperature, it had been a while since the crash.

All right, he thought, what to do? The first thing was to find some kind of first aid kit and some emergency blankets. Then he'd have to see if he could figure out where he was.

It was only as he looked around, trying to find some emergency supplies, that it dawned on him. He was in the back of the plane so obviously he had been a passenger. What about the pilot or pilots?

"Damn", he muttered. He'd been so caught up in his own situation that he hadn't spared a thought for any other possible companions. He recognized that that was also a symptom of the concussion. Normally his first thought would be to anyone with him. He knew he had to make it to the cockpit to see if the pilot was alive. As he hobbled his way forward he looked around but could see no sign of anyone else.

The only thing he could figure was that he must have stowed away on the flight. He must be on one of his black op missions to some eastern country. If the pilots were alive, he might have to watch them carefully. The last thing he needed was to be taken captive.

He made his way to the front of the plane although it was difficult. The combination of his wounds, the wreckage and the now icy conditions made it difficult to move. It took almost ten minutes, which felt like a hundred, for him to reach the front.

When he arrived it quickly became apparent that there was little likelihood of survivors. The plane had crashed nose first. What had, at one time, been the cockpit, was now a tangled mass of wreckage. The nose must have slammed into the side of a hill because the front end of the plane had been pushed back. Even if he'd wanted to, there was no way Jack would have been able to get to anyone in the front, even if there was a possibility they were still alive.

He spared a brief moment of sympathy for whoever had been flying the plane. Even if they were the enemy they hadn't deserved to die like this.

He turned and headed back into the body of the plane. As he walked he glanced over and happened to see what looked like a red cross. He shifted position and was pleased to see that he hadn't been wrong. Over on the left-hand side was what looked like a first aid locker. He limped over, gasping again with the effort it took.

As he approached he groaned, this time not in pain, but in frustration. It was definitely a first aid locker, but in front of it was what looked like a ton of twisted metal. How in hell was he to get to it?

As he felt the blood begin to drip again from his head wound he realized that he had no choice. If he didn't do something to stop the bleeding from both his head and arm, he would slowly bleed to death and that was something just not in his plans for today.

"No way", he said softly. "I have to get back – back to Sara." As soon as the thought came it felt wrong. He couldn't figure out why. He had a desperate urge to return – to someone who cared. It had to be Sara – she was his wife. Why then did that feel wrong? It was as if the name was incorrect, that it wasn't Sara that he should be thinking about. And yet, he'd never been unfaithful to his wife, he certainly wouldn't have anyone else 'on the side'. He shook his head, confused.

"OW!" Okay, that was a mistake. Rule number one – don't shake your head when you have a concussion. Instead, he bent over and, with one arm, began to remove some of the metal that separated him from the first aid supplies.

As he slowly and painstakingly moved the items his mind kept flipping back to Sara. He couldn't get a picture of her clearly in his mind. Instead, another figure kept popping into his thoughts. She was similar; tall, blond, blue eyed – but for some reason it was a different face. What the hell was going on? He was starting to get frightened. He worried that something sinister was going down and yet he couldn't put his finger on it.

By the time he'd cleared a path to the supplies he was sweating – a cold sweat - and was shaking. Not a good sign, he knew. He was very afraid he was going into shock. He needed to get warm and lie down. He could also use something to drink, preferably something hot, although he figured that was unlikely.

He reached over with his good arm and opened the locker. Inside was a first aid kit, and a variety of other emergency items including blankets. Thank God! He reached over and snagged what was there. He then made his way to the jeep. It offered some measure of protection to the fierce cold and wind that were howling around the plane.

Sitting down on one of the folded blankets (that would offer him some protection from the icy floor) he leaned up against the overturned jeep. He then draped another blanket over his lap and one around his shoulders. Somewhat protected from the elements he opened the first aid box.

"All right," he tried to think what to do. "Head wound first." He took out some gauze and antiseptic and tried to wipe around the wound. After turning the air blue with some choice swear words, he finished cleaning the gash. Next, he held up a thick pad of bandages and pressed it against the wound. It was awkward as the gash was on the left side and he only had his right arm to work with. As he slowly wrapped the bandages around his head he had to concentrate really hard on not passing out.

Next on his list was his arm. He hadn't really looked at it, not wanting to worry when there was nothing he could do. He knew that now he'd have to deal with it and the thought made him feel sick to his stomach. Nothing like looking at your own bones sticking out of your skin!

He gently and slowly pulled back the bloody sleeve of his jacket. As it caught on a shard of bone he could feel the blood leave his head and he felt the bile rise in the back of his throat.

"Come on O'Neill, you can do this." He grabbed a small pair of scissors from the first aid kit and began to cut off the sleeve. Pulling it back was not a good idea!

He concentrated completely on cutting the material, refusing to look at the arm underneath. It was when the material was finally ready to take away that he forced himself to glance down at the arm.

"Oh shit!" he said as he looked at it. The break was a bad one – a good two inches of either the radius or the ulna were sticking out. The wound itself was jagged and bloody. He knew blood loss was an issue; he could feel the weakness and dizziness caused by the amount he'd lost already. What was more dangerous was the severe risk of infection or necrosis of the bone. Where he got all this stuff he wasn't sure but he knew he had to do something.

He sat looking down at his arm for a few minutes, horrified yet fascinated with the wound. Shaking himself he grabbed the first aid kit again, this time taking out some more supplies. He figured that dousing the wound with antiseptic probably wasn't the best thing to do – besides which it would probably make him pass out in agony – but he didn't know what else he could do. He didn't think he could try and set the bone by himself. He figured it would take a doctor.

"Sam, where are you when I need you." He stopped in surprise, wondering where that thought had come from and who 'Sam' was. Maybe it was a doctor he'd known somewhere. But as he thought that the same picture of the blond 'not Sara' woman again forced its way into his head. This was getting weird.

"Enough procrastinating Jack. Get it over with." Opening the bottle of antiseptic with his mouth, he took a deep breath and poured it over the wound.

If there had been anyone close by they would have been alerted to the presence of a downed plane by the scream that pierced the storm-laden day. It was cut off shortly as the body from whence it had come passed out.

He wasn't out for long and soon he awoke to the burning agony of his arm. At least that part was done; now for the bandaging. As he weakly pushed himself back to a sitting position he considered his best option. He took some of the gauze and gently laid it over the open wound. The site of the bone continued to make him nauseous but he kept working around it. Once the wound was covered he bandaged the arm loosely. It was more to try and keep germs out than anything. He couldn't do it tightly enough to keep the blood from flowing. Fortunately, it seemed to have stopped bleeding heavily – only small amounts of blood seeping out.

Once the bandaging was done he fashioned himself a sling. The best thing he could do, he realized, was to keep his arm as stable as possible. The sling would give it some protection and keep him from trying to use it unconsciously.

Finally finished he collapsed back against the jeep once more. His teeth chattering, both from cold and reaction, he pulled the blankets more closely around himself. He knew he wasn't finished with his self first aid, but for now that was all he could handle. His eyes began to close. He knew that sleep was bad – especially with a head wound – but he was having trouble convincing himself to stay awake. Just a short nap, that's all he needed, and then he'd get moving.

As he drifted off something continued to bother him – some small, niggling thought kept him from resting completely. He wished he could get that woman out of his head. He knew she was trouble.

"SIR! Wake up!" He sat up with a start – the sudden movement causing all his various aches and pains to flair into life with a vengeance.

"What Carter?" he gasped in reply. When there was no answer he looked around, puzzled. Who had called him and why had he answered with 'Carter'? He didn't know anyone by that name except for some two-star General based in Washington. He'd never served under the man but heard he was a brilliant, although tough, commander.

Whatever had happened, it was enough to bring back the awareness that sleep, at this point, could be lethal. He had to stay awake and alert. Okay, he reasoned, as 'alert' as he could be with a concussion and no idea as to where he was.

**Offutt Air Force Base – Nebraska**

I'm sorry ma'am, the weather's just too bad. We can't risk going out until things clear up a bit. The weather is supposed to be better by this evening. As soon as we can we'll head out."

As difficult as it was, Sam knew that the young Lieutenant was speaking the truth. The storm was peaking and it would be deadly to send anyone out right now. It was amazing that they'd even made it in to Offutt in one piece.

She looked over at Daniel, who was pacing back and forth in frustration, and Teal'c, who sat quietly but was clearly tense with worry. Walking over to the two men she sat down, shaking her head.

"We have to wait for the storm to die out a bit. No flying in this weather."

"Oh come on Sam, the longer we wait the less likelihood we'll find anyone alive. We've got to go now."

"Daniel, I know how you're feeling. I want to rush out and grab a helicopter and take off right now but we can't. It's too dangerous. Don't you think these men here would be the first ones out if they could? They all know what's at stake here but there is no way a plane or chopper could fly in this. We'll just have to wait."

"O'Neill will know we are coming. He will 'hang on' until we arrive." Teal'c spoke assertively.

She wished she could be as confident as he was. She knew if anything happened to Jack she'd be devastated. They all would – but for her it would be not just the loss of a dear friend, but the loss of part of herself.

As they'd traveled from Colorado, and as they'd waited here in Nebraska, she'd had time to think about her life, but more importantly, about her relationships. She knew, for a fact, that Pete was wrong. He was not the man for her. That had been made clear as soon as she visited his family. Oh, she knew it wasn't fair to judge someone by anything other than himself, but Pete fit into his family so well. They were clearly close and their lifestyle was one in which Pete felt comfortable. As much as she'd always yearned for the 'white picket fence' life, she knew now that it wasn't for her. At least it wasn't for her with Pete.

As much as he loved her, it wouldn't take long for the rosy picture to grow dim. He'd begin to resent her focus on duty and service. He'd want her there, for him, one hundred percent. And the thing was, she couldn't fault him for that. He was a good man and it was what he deserved. She knew he'd also be there for his wife one hundred percent. The fact was, he just wasn't the one for her.

She knew, in her heart of hearts, that for the right man she too would be there totally. Oh, duty and honor were an essential part of her, but with the right person she could continue to serve but also to give. The problem was, she couldn't have that 'right person'.

"Are you okay Sam?" Daniel asked. She hadn't even realized she'd let out a small whimper at the thought of not being able to be with the man she truly loved. She glanced at her friend and simply shook her head. Until Jack was back with them, healthy and whole, she wasn't going to be 'okay'.

"He'll make it Sam. You've gotta have faith." Daniel reached over and took her hand, which was icy cold. "Come here", he said, pulling her towards him. He put his arms around her and held her close as the tears began to course down her cheeks.

"What if he dies Daniel? What am I going to do?" she sobbed. "I never told him." Daniel held her for a few more seconds until he finally realized she wasn't going to continue.

"Tell him what Sam?" He pulled his head back to look at her but she had her head buried in his chest.

"That I loved him." Oh boy, he thought, there opens a big can of worms.

"Love him? You mean Jack?" Her head simply nodded into his shirt. "What about Pete?" That caused a torrent of sobs. Daniel looked over at Teal'c in panic. 'What should I do?', he mouthed to his friend. Teal'c, the coward, simply shrugged.

"I don't love Pete", she hiccupped. "Jack just told me to get a life so I did. I didn't think he cared anymore."

"Who? Jack?" he asked in disbelief. "Come on Sam, Jack has never stopped caring for you or for any of us."

"I believe she means that he cares for her more than he is supposed to, Daniel Jackson." Teal'c quoted the words Jack had used during the Zatarc episode. Daniel looked up in surprise.

"You mean … but Sam, you're the one who moved on, not Jack. Why would you think he didn't uh 'care for you' anymore?"

"He didn't stop me." she answered quietly – again only speaking to the shirt.

"Didn't stop you? From what?" he asked. This was a very confusing, and surprising, conversation.

"From Pete."

"He didn't stop you from Pete? You mean from dating Pete?" another nod answered that question.

"But Sam, how could he? He's your commanding officer. You could have him up on charges for something like that. He'd never compromise you like that. And you know how proud he is of you, of how far you've come. He'd never do anything to harm your career."

Sam was totally still, absorbing Daniel's words. He wasn't saying anything she didn't know already, but hearing them from another source made her realize again how self-sacrificing Jack was. Damn him!

She finally pulled away from Daniel and wiped her eyes, and nose, on her sleeve. Daniel and Teal'c both raised their eyebrows at this. Usually Sam was the soul of decorum and good manners.

"Damn him", she repeated, this time out loud. "Why does he always have to put everyone else first? Can't he for once do something selfish and, and _human_?"

"Uh … like what Sam?"

"Like maybe simply tell me how he feels – that he doesn't want me to date other men, that even if we can't be together he loves me and he'll wait for me."

Daniel sighed. He really hadn't thought that he'd spend the day giving advice to the lovelorn – especially since his best friend was out there, in the middle of a snowstorm, probably hurt. He turned and faced Sam fully again.

"Look Sam, if he is in love with you that's the last thing he'd do. It may be a cliché but it's true; real love is doing what's best for the other person, wanting them to be happy. By saying those things to you he'd know he was putting you under an obligation and that he was pressuring you to wait. If Jack truly loves you, and I think he does, then he's going to do what's best for you – not for him. He let you go because he wants you to be happy. I'm sure it was the hardest thing he ever did but, you know what Sam, it was the right thing and he knew it. He didn't once complain or make fun of Pete – he respected your decision and wanted you to be happy. Don't take that away from him by being angry. You should be grateful that he loves you enough to let you go."

"If you love something set it free? Is that it Daniel?" she laughed, a bitter sound. "I'm not a butterfly, I'm an officer and a mature woman. You'd think he could let me make my own decision."

"But he did Sam. He let you decide. You were the one that moved on, not him. You could have chosen to wait without him saying anything. If anyone should be angry and hurt it's Jack, not you." He didn't want to be harsh, especially now, but he thought it only right to defend his friend. Jack had been the one to have to deal with the heartache of losing the woman he loved so he deserved to be defended to that woman.

That stopped her cold. She looked up at one of the best friends she'd ever had and realized she'd just received a slap in the face – but one that she deserved. He was right. She was sitting here, angry at Jack (and truthfully, she'd been feeling angry at him for weeks) when all along it had been her decision. The time on the Prometheus had been all her, not Jack, and yet she'd somehow blamed him for that as well; as if her illusion of him was really him speaking.

God, what a fool she was. She looked up at Daniel and noticed his stricken face. He'd spoken what he felt, but still felt terrible. With a small smile she reached out and touched his face.

"Thank you. I needed that."

"Ah geeze, Sam, I'm sorry. Now's not the time for this. I should have kept my mouth shut."

"That is a difficult task for you Daniel Jackson." Daniel looked over in shock at his friend. "But this time I think you did well. It was time for Samantha to hear the truth, even though it is sometimes difficult."

"Do you think I made a mistake Teal'c?" she asked. Although the Jaffa spoke much less than Daniel, sometimes what little he said was very wise.

"I believe you did what you had to do. But now, I believe you must face the truth and make your next decision wisely. It is up to you. It has always been up to you but now you act with your eyes open."

"Yes, I guess you're right. So tell me, any suggestions from either of you as to what I should do when we find Jack?" This time it was she who spoke confidently. Somehow, through the course of this conversation, she had come to believe that Jack was alive and that he would come back to her – them.

"Uh … I think that's for you to decide Sam. But I do think you and Jack need to talk. You never do, you know, and I think that's part of the problem." Daniel had said all he was going to say. He just hoped it had been enough.

"Teal'c? Any words of wisdom?"

"All I would say is examine your heart – and decide where you want to see yourself in five or ten years. Sometimes we get so caught up in the now that we forget the future."

With those words the three friends again became silent, simply waiting. It was almost 6:00 o'clock before the weather had cleared enough for the helicopters to go out. Sam, Daniel and Teal'c all dressed in their warm clothes and headed out with the rescue crew, all hoping that they would find the plane – with its occupants alive – quickly.

**The Plane**

He'd drifted in and out of awareness all afternoon (although he himself had no idea as to the time). He had, however, managed to keep himself from falling asleep. He knew he was growing colder and weaker. He'd hoped that he didn't have any internal injuries but now wasn't so sure. He felt a strange lethargy fall over him and worried that he was bleeding internally. It could simply be the cold and the blood loss from his obvious wounds and he tried to keep that thought in his mind. No sense panicking unnecessarily.

His other thoughts throughout the day were less clear. He kept seeing the same faces over and over again but he couldn't figure out who they were. There were two bald men – one tall and dark skinned, the other shorter and white. There was a young man with dark hair and glasses and finally, there was the blond. She was the one whose face kept popping into his head. Every time he wanted to give up she would appear. One time she even threatened to 'kick his ass' if he gave up. He didn't know why, but he knew he had to listen to her so he kept going.

He no longer thought about Sara. With a small 'pang' of sadness he somehow knew she was no longer in his life. As far as his son was concerned, well, he'd known from the beginning he was gone.

As darkness had fallen, putting out even the faint light that had crept through during the storm, he had begun to feel a sense of despair. He felt like his last chance was coming to an end. He knew if someone didn't find him soon he would not survive the night. The temperature had dropped steadily and he was already feeling the effects of hypothermia. Added to that was the loss of blood and the various wounds he'd suffered. He hadn't even tried to figure out what else was wrong with him. If he couldn't bandage it it really didn't matter.

Suddenly, out of nowhere came a new thought. He still didn't know where he was, or even the year, but he remembered that it was Christmas. How that thought had crept in he didn't know but, for some reason, it gave him a measure of comfort.

As he sat there, sure in his own mind that he was slowly dying, he began to hum. He remembered the Christmas carols he'd learned as a boy. He started with 'Silent Night' – somehow that seemed appropriate as he sat there alone, in the cold. From there he moved through as many as he could remember. Most of the songs were hymns, remembered from going to church as a young boy. He hadn't been in years but was amazed at how easily they came back to him. After a while he began to believe that as long as he kept singing he would stay alive. If he stopped, he'd know that was the end.

As the evening wore on into night he kept singing and humming. Sometimes it was a faint sound, which was barely audible. The pain and shortness of breath making it increasingly more difficult – but still he kept on. He even threw in a few popular songs like Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer (Charlie had always liked that one). He pulled out his Spanish and even sang 'Feliz Navidad'. He was just glad Daniel wasn't here to make fun of him!

Daniel! Teal'c! Sam! Suddenly his memories came back to him. As he sang to himself, ever more slowly, ever more softly he was warmed by the memories of his friends. He knew now that he wasn't on a mission – no, he was on his way to spend Christmas by himself. But he knew, in his heart, that his friends were still with him, no matter how far away they were.

In actual fact, his friends were not far away at all. They had been flying around for a couple of hours, searching the area for signs of a crash. The pilot finally indicated they had to return for refueling when Sam had the oddest sensation. She suddenly thought she heard singing. It must have been her imagination but she was sure she could hear someone singing _The First Noel_.

"Daniel, did you hear that?" She looked at her companions and saw that they too looked as if something had startled them.

"Yeah – it sounds like singing – although how we can hear it over the sound of the chopper I have no idea. Teal'c?"

"Yes, I hear it as well. I also see a light." He pointed ahead and, sure enough, there was a light, which seemed to be illuminating a small area of ground.

Sam reached forward and tapped on the pilot's shoulder. She pointed ahead, to the light.

"Can we check that out before heading back?" she asked. With a quick look at the fuel gauge the pilot nodded and headed towards the light.

He was almost out of breath. As he finished the song – one of his favorites – he knew he could sing no more. This was it, this was the end. Somehow though, it seemed fitting that it was Christmas. Maybe this way God would look more favorably on him when he reached those pearly gates.

As he sang the last words to the song he became conscious of another sound. It started out softly but then grew louder. He listened intently hoping, then praying it wasn't his imagination. It sounded like a helicopter. Maybe his time hadn't run out after all.

"There! There it is!" shouted Daniel. The three friends looked down and, sure enough, there was the wreckage of the plane. When they looked closely at it, in the light from the chopper, their hearts all sank. It looked like the plane was all but destroyed. A small portion was intact but the front had slammed into a small hill and there were pieces lying in all directions. It took a few moments for the chopper to find a safe place to land. It had barely touched the ground before the three teammates were running madly for the plane. Teal'c was the first to arrive, his long legs giving him the advantage. He was followed only seconds later by the other two. It took a few moments for the team to be able to clear a path into the wrecked aircraft. They each had a flashlight and began to do a sweep of the interior.

It was Sam who found the dark shape over by the jeep. It took her a second before she realized it was a body … no, a person, she corrected herself.

"Over here!" she shouted, making her way over to the dark figure. She knelt down and looked into the eyes of her commander.

"Hey Carter", he whispered. "Merry Christmas."

"Merry Christmas Sir", she said softly back, tears gathering in her eyes. "We didn't want you to celebrate alone so we decided to join you. I hope that's okay?"

"Yup – I'd like that. But what about … Pete?" he gasped out.

"Pete? He was a mistake Sir. He's gone. I have everything I need right here." She continued to look at him as the paramedics rushed up and took over. As they stabilized him and got him on the stretcher she continued to stay close, even holding his hand when the medics were finished.

Jack looked at Sam in wonder, realizing that she had been with him the entire time he'd been in the plane. Seeing her face now, he knew something had changed. He also knew, after this latest near-death experience – that it was now or never. He could no longer wait for some possible future with this woman. No – it was time he retired anyway. Looking up he gave her a smile and a wink.

"Wanna go fishin' Sam?" he asked, this once and final time.

"Yes Jack – as soon as you're up – and the ice is gone – I want to go fishing."

He simply smiled and closed his eyes, letting the drugs begin to take affect.

"Hey Jack – I thought you said you were going to kick back and take it easy this Christmas?" Daniel stood by the stretcher as they medics prepared to lift him up.

"Hey … that's what I was …. doin' Daniel – till you came and crashed my party. Just sittin here singin Christmas .. carols."

The three friends turned and looked at each other. No … it couldn't be … could it? They all wondered. It was Christmas though – and they'd witnessed their share of miracles in the past.

"So, what were you singing Jack?"

"All …. sorts. Last one was ….. First Noel…. One of my favorites."

At that the three members of SG1 had to move back as the paramedics lifted the stretcher. As Jack was carried into the waiting chopper Daniel turned and said,

"Couldn't have been a more fitting song." As Sam nodded and Teal'c raised his eyebrows they followed their friend to the chopper and home. They were once again together for Christmas.

_**If you can't remember them – check out the words to The First Noel.**_

**The first Noel, the angel **


	2. Reconsidering

_**I had originally intended for this to be a one-chapter story but for some reason the site didn't mark it 'Complete'. I then had some reviewers asking for more – or whether it was, in fact, finished. Well, how can I refuse my lovely reviewers! So – here's for you! I'm almost finished with the story so will post all the chapters tonight.**_

_**As always – they're not mine!**_

_**Happy New Year everyone - 2011**_

"It's almost Christmas Eve." Daniel said softly as he sat in the big vinyl covered armchair in the waiting room.

"Typical", laughed Sam bitterly.

"What do you mean?"

"How many holidays have we sat waiting while one of our friends was fighting for his or her life? It seems like we can never catch a break."

"I do not believe that is true Colonel Carter", answered Teal'c seriously. "I believe we have caught 'many breaks' in our years together. We are all still here are we not? Many men and women have died in the fight against our enemies. I would say we are most fortunate."

"Yeah, he's right Sam. And you know what else? I'd say we're all pretty lucky to have each other. We've all sat waiting when one of us has been hurt, and we've all also _been_ the one hurt – and we can always count on one another. I always knew, whenever I was in the Infirmary that one or more of you would be there for me. So, I agree with Teal'c – I think we're pretty fortunate."

Sam smiled again, but this time in gratitude. Yes, her friends were right. They had been lucky, even with all they'd been through. She just prayed that that luck would hold tonight.

Jack had been flown into Lincoln General Hospital; the weather too bad and the distance too far to take him back to the SGC or the Academy Hospital in Colorado. They had worried, wishing he could be taken where he was known. The medics had reassured them that it was a good hospital with good doctors. And the fact was, that this time his injuries were normal, although serious, and not caused by some weird, alien induced weapon or sickness.

A trauma team had been waiting on the helipad and he had been immediately whisked into Emergency when they'd arrived at the hospital. By the time the helicopter had taken off from the crash site he had been unconscious. The fact that he'd held on for almost twelve hours before being rescued was a miracle in itself. His body had reached the end of its endurance however, and, when he knew he was safe, he had given in to the pain and weakness.

Sam had sat beside the gurney on the trip to the hospital, holding his hand, as if, by doing so she could send her strength and life-force into him.

The medics monitored him closely and looked worried. They didn't know the extent of his injuries, other than the obvious ones, but it was clear that he had lost a lot of blood and was suffering from hypothermia. He hadn't even been shivering when found, which was a very bad sign.

It had been hours since they'd seen him and no one had been out to give them an update. A couple of nurses had come by to see how they were doing but had no news. That was one of the bad things about being in a regular hospital. If they had been in the Infirmary or even at the Academy, they would have been kept in the loop – or at least the General would have and he would have passed on the information.

It was times like these that the entire team wished that Janet were with them. She would have come for the rescue operation and would have asserted her rights as Jack's Physician. They all missed the tiny firebrand and friend.

Daniel had immediately called General Hammond when they'd got back to the hospital and he was waiting anxiously, along with half the base, for any news. They just wished they had something to tell him.

"Does anyone want a coffee?" Daniel asked. He had to do something before he went crazy.

"Yes please Daniel", Sam answered. She was so tired but she was determined to stay awake until they heard something about Jack.

"I will have a hot chocolate, Daniel Jackson." Teal'c didn't like coffee although he could tolerate it now that his symbiote was a thing of the past.

"I'll be right back." By the time he returned, ten minutes later, it looked as if his friends hadn't moved. They were sitting in exactly the same position, with the same expressions, as when he'd left.

"Here", he handed Sam her coffee and Teal'c his hot chocolate. He'd also brought a couple of apples and some crackers although no one seemed interested.

"He's gonna be okay you know." he said. "The fact that he was conscious when we found him was a good sign, even the medics said so."

"That's just because O'Neill is too stubborn to give up", answered Teal'c. "It does not mean he was not seriously injured."

"Hey, I know that, I'm just trying to be positive here. And what's up with you Teal'c? Usually you're Mr. Optimistic."

"I am optimistic Daniel. I am also a realist. It may take him time to recover from this. We must be prepared to help him as he mends; and you know O'Neill - he will resist our help just as he resisted our attempts to change our plans for Christmas. He does not like to feel beholden to anyone."

Daniel took a deep breath and let it out slowly, rubbing his sore eyes at the same time.

"Yeah – I know. It's gonna be rough, but better that than ….." the rest didn't need to be said.

Sam sat quietly through the conversation, her thoughts not just on the man she knew she loved, but on her life and where it had taken her to this point.

She hadn't given Pete a single thought all day, hadn't even called him to tell him the General was okay. She'd thought about telling Hammond and even Ferretti and Harriman but not her own fiancé. What kind of person did that make her?

Pete was a good man; a man who loved her and who had never treated her with anything other than kindness and respect. And what had she done but pay him back by shrugging him off the moment something happened to one of her teammates. Okay, not just one of her teammates – but Gen – Jack.

She actually debated calling him right now but when she realized it was close to midnight stopped herself. If he'd been at his house she would have called but she didn't want to disturb his parents and family. She'd call first thing in the morning.

It was going to be difficult to know what to say to him. If this episode had shown her anything it was that Pete deserved someone much better than her. He deserved someone who loved him with her whole heart, someone who wanted nothing more than to be with him. He didn't deserve a woman whose heart belonged elsewhere.

She knew that she was going to have to tell him these things, and that it was going to crush him. Better now, however, than after they were married. The problem she faced was that he deserved to be told in person – not over the phone – and there was no way she was going to leave the General until he was well and truly better. She also knew that Pete would insist on flying up to be with her as soon as he knew she was in Nebraska and not at the SGC. How to stop him was the question. She couldn't –

"Sam." A hand reached over and touched her on the arm. She jerked in surprise.

"What?" she looked up at Daniel who had a concerned look on his face.

"Whatchya thinkin'?" he asked. "You look like your world is about to end. Jack's gonna be okay you know."

"I know Daniel. It's not that – well, it is that – I mean I'm worried about him but I was also thinking about Pete."

"Oh?"

"What am I going to tell him? He's going to want to come here and be with me."

"And that would be -?"

"That would be bad, Daniel. Really bad."

"Why is that? You're still engaged to him. It seems only natural that he'd want to be with you."

"Of course it is, and that's the problem."

"That's the problem?" asked Daniel, confused.

"I'm going to break it off Daniel. How can I do that if he rushes up to be with me? I'll feel like a complete witch. It'll be just as bad if I tell him over the phone. I can't do that to him – he doesn't deserve that from me."

Daniel looked at her for a moment, relieved beyond belief that she'd come to her senses and was going to ditch – ur – break things off with Pete. He just hoped she was doing it for the right reasons and not because she was upset and worried about Jack. Even though she'd told him of her feelings for O'Neill, Daniel knew that the regulations were still a problem and always would be. No matter what they did, it would always appear as if they'd carried out a secret affair.

"I'll call him if you like. I can tell him that you asked me to call and let him know about Jack and that you'll call him as soon as you're free."

"Free from what Daniel? He'll know I'm just avoiding him. No, I have to do it. Thanks anyway. I'll just have to figure out a way to keep him from coming up here."

They all sat quietly after that, waiting for news, until one of the doctors, who had been working on Jack, finally arrived. He was still wearing his scrubs and looked incredibly exhausted. Daniel glanced at the clock and saw that it was almost 2:00 am.

"I'm looking for General O'Neill's family." The doctor asked, looking around the waiting room.

"We are his family", answered Teal'c

The doctor looked in surprise at the very large African American man. He cleared his throat and spoke again.

"I'm sorry – I need to speak to next of kin or a direct relative."

"Why", Sam asked, panicked now. "Is something wrong?"

"What? No. I just can't give out medical information to non-relatives."

Daniel spoke up at this, understanding the dilemma but desperate to hear how his friend was doing.

"Murray", he nodded at Teal'c, "is the General's adopted brother. I'm a friend and this is his wife", he gestured towards Sam. She twitched in surprise but had enough sense to keep quiet.

"Oh, okay then", the doctor looked suspicious but was too tired to argue. Instead, he walked over to Sam and sat beside her.

"How is he?"

"He's doing as well as can be expected. As I'm sure you know he was hurt pretty badly. Besides his wounds he lost a substantial amount of blood and was suffering moderate to severe hypothermia. If he'd been there much longer we would have lost him. As it is, I'm optimistic that he'll make it through this. The next 24 to 48 hours are critical."

"What … what were his injuries?"

"Well", the doctor sighed deeply. This was the part he always hated – it made things sound so desperate and was usually extremely upsetting for family members – although he still wasn't convinced these people were the General's family.

"He had a concussion and head wound which bled pretty freely. His arm was fractured in three places, one of which was a severe compound fracture. We had to do surgery on that and place pins in the arm to stabilize it and so it will set correctly. He'll be in a cast for quite a while and will have to do some intense physical therapy to get it back to full working order."

Oh joy, thought all three of Jack's friends, he was going to love that.

"He had a number of cracked ribs and one which was broken. It nicked the lung but fortunately didn't penetrate it. He'll simply have to go easy for a while and it will be painful but should heal just fine." Here he stopped, wishing he didn't have to go on. These injuries were enough for anyone to endure.

"Is that all?" the woman – his wife? – looked at him expectantly. She seemed to know he hadn't disclosed everything.

He was surprised at how calmly she'd taken his rundown of the General's injuries. It seemed to confirm his suspicions that they weren't married. Or, he thought, their marriage was on the rocks.

"Uh – no, not all. I'm afraid the worst of it – other than the hypothermia and danger of pneumonia – is the internal damage he suffered." He stopped, looking at each of the waiting 'family'.

"His liver and right kidney received extensive trauma. We managed to save the kidney although it's still touch and go – he may yet loose it. We had to resect a good portion of the liver but it should regenerate."

"What does this mean?" again the woman spoke, calmly.

"Uh – for now he is on dialysis and we're watching him closely. At his age it takes longer for things to repair but he looked to be in pretty good shape in general so, barring complications, he should heal just fine."

"How long?" asked Daniel.

"There's no telling. I expect he'll be in the hospital for at least a couple of weeks but it'll probably be months before he's back to full speed." If he ever is, thought the doctor. An accident this traumatic could leave permanent and lasting damage, especially in someone over 50.

"Outside of all that he experienced extensive bruising. That'll mean he's very sore and it adds a bit of complication with his kidneys not working at 100% but again, for now things look okay."

He went to stand up, the news delivered. He would check on his patient once more and then get some sleep. It had been a long day and he really wanted to get home to see his family for the holidays.

As he turned to leave he spoke again to the woman. This time he looked at her closely and could see the wounded look in her eyes. She was pale, her skin almost translucent, and he noticed the sheen of tears in her eyes. He had been wrong – this must be his wife – and she clearly loved him deeply. Being married to a General must have taught her to be strong. By the number of scars on his body O'Neill had suffered a lot of injuries in his life. She had obviously been here before.

Turning to her with more gentleness this time he spoke again. "I know it's impossible not to worry but I think he'll do just fine. That's a man who has a lot to live for and he's strong. It'll take a while but you will be able to take him home soon." With a small smile he turned and walked towards the ICU.

"Doctor", called Daniel, "when can we see him?"

Stopping he looked at the 'friend' and spoke. "I'll have one of the nurses come and let you know. He'll be in ICU for a few days at the least. At first only his wife will be able to visit. Don't worry – I'll make sure she's told as soon as it's okay to visit." With that he finally walked out of the waiting room.

"Oh God, Daniel, it sounds bad."

"I know Sam but I think the Doctor was right. Jack has a lot to live for and he's strong. He'll make it through this."

"What?"

"What? I mean what are you asking Sam?"

"What does he have to live for? We all deserted him for Christmas. He has no other family, at least none that we know of. His son is dead. What does he have?"

"He has us Colonel Carter." Teal'c answered. He had been quiet throughout the doctor's recital. "Although we were wrong to leave O'Neill at this season he was not unsure of our regard for him. He cared for us enough to let us go and do what we wished for the holidays. He knows that we care for him, that we are his family. Do not belittle his love for us by saying this."

She looked at the big man, impressed again with his simple view of life and his wisdom.

"And he has you Sam." Daniel added softly. She glanced at him sharply, not sure what he was saying.

"You love him and I think you're ready to tell him that. Didn't you tell him you'd go fishing with him?"

"Yes, but – I was so glad to see him alive. How can I though Daniel? It's still wrong, it's still not allowed."

"What? You're telling me the Air Force has a regulation that prohibits officers from going fishing together?"

She had to grin at that, although the expression was fleeting. If it really had been about fishing of course it would be okay. They all knew, however, that it didn't have anything to do with that activity.

"I … don't think I can go. It would mean trouble for Jack. There are too many people who would like to see him brought down and this would be the perfect excuse."

There was silence in the waiting room as both of her friends looked at her, Daniel in frustration, Teal'c with a puzzled look on his face.

"You would lie to O'Neill?" he asked.

"Lie? No, of course not Teal'c."

"But did you not tell him you would go with him? Did you not tell him you 'had everything you needed' when you were with him?"

"Yes, but that was because I was so happy to see him alive."

"So, it was not true?"

"What? Of course it was true – it's just that it's not that simple."

"So, you lied to make him feel better for the moment but you have no intention of holding to your promise. How do you think that will make O'Neill feel?"

"He'll understand."

"Will he Sam?", Daniel asked. "He's had to understand a lot lately. He understood when you went off with Pete. He understood when you got engaged. He understood when you went to spend the holidays with Pete's family. He's never asked for anything from you Sam. Even when you found him in the plane he asked about Pete. You were the one who said Pete was over, that you'd go 'fishing' with Jack. And you know what? I saw his expression when you said that. He was sitting there, frozen, bleeding to death, in pain – and he had an expression of pure joy on his face. You'd better be sure you know what you're doing before you destroy that." Daniel leaned back and closed his eyes, too tired to continue to argue with Sam.

Teal'c looked at her for a few moments, an expression of concern and compassion on his face. He was extremely worried for both of his friends.

For the first time since they'd arrived at the hospital Sam felt like she was going to break down and cry. She knew that what Teal'c and Daniel said was true. She knew she would hurt Jack, perhaps unbearably, were she to go back on what she'd said. The truth of the matter was, when she'd seen him alive, she'd been so overjoyed that all else had dropped by the wayside. The years of ignoring and denying what they felt for each other suddenly seemed wasted. She had known then that the time was now – that if they missed this opportunity there never would be a time for them. It had all seemed to clear, so right.

Sitting for hours in the waiting room had brought reality crashing down. It had allowed her to think of all those reasons that had kept them apart for so long. The part of her that was the obedient soldier, the little girl who always obeyed, gained the upper hand and convinced her that she couldn't just go and be with Jack. There were too many problems, too many roadblocks to make such a decision. And what she'd said to Daniel was true too – it could and probably would destroy Jack's career. It wouldn't do hers any good either although since he was the superior officer he would bear most of the guilt.

Why was it then, when she had determined to do the 'right' thing, it felt so wrong? Certainly her friends didn't think she was doing the right thing. In fact, she got the distinct impression she'd have two very angry members of SG1 if she reneged on what she'd told the General.

God – what was she to do?


	3. Going Along With It

"Mrs. O'Neill."

She sat quietly, caught up in her own complex life, and didn't realize she was being spoken to.

"Mrs. O'Neill." The nurse spoke again, not surprised that the wife was so out of it. Her husband was in pretty bad shape and she looked like she was in shock.

"Sam, the nurse is speaking to you." Daniel's voice intruded on her thoughts.

"What?"

"The nurse – she's speaking to you."

"Huh? Oh, I'm sorry, I was lost in my thoughts." She smiled at the nurse apologetically.

"That's okay Mrs. O'Neill, I understand. I just wanted to let you know you can come in and see your husband now. We have him settled in the ICU."

Sam looked at her blankly for a moment, having forgotten that Daniel had lied and claimed she was Jack's wife. This, on top of her recent worries, was almost more than she could take in.

"Come on Sam, you can go and see Jack now." Daniel rose and reached down with his hand. She grasped it and stood up at which time Daniel pulled her into a tight hug.

"Don't worry about anything right now. Just go, sit with him. He needs your presence more than anything. There's time to worry about other stuff later."

She nodded but was unable to speak. Finally, pulling away from her friend she dashed her arm across her eyes, wiping the tears that were starting to fall. She turned to the nurse who was smiling gently at her.

"Okay, I'm ready. How is he?" she asked, following the nurse down the corridor.

"He's resting quietly. He'll probably be out of it for the next 24 hours or so, so don't expect him to be awake. You can sit with him for a while though – I'm sure it will help him to have you close by. Patients seem to know when loved ones are with them."

Sam couldn't correct the nurse, having to play along with being Jack's wife. Frankly, she didn't want to anyway. There was something incredibly comforting, incredibly 'right' about being called Jack's wife and his 'loved one'.

As they reached the ICU the nurse stopped and turned towards Sam. Reaching her hand out she gently touched her.

"I want to prepare you", she said softly. "It's always difficult for family members to see their loved ones in ICU. He's going to look pretty battered – the bruises are coming out now that he's warmed up. There are also a lot of machines helping him right now. You mustn't worry. It's all normal and will help get him well quicker. We're all taking good care of him."

Sam smiled her thanks. "Don't worry. I've been in this position many times. I'm with the Air Force as is the Gen – as is my husband. We've both been injured enough times to know the routine."

The nurse looked at her for a moment, pitying the woman who found this 'routine'. "Okay, then let's go in. You can stay with him but just make sure you move out of the way of the nurses when they need to check him. They'll be in every few minutes. If they ask you to leave please do so – our first concern has to be your husband."

"Of course, and thank you."

"No problem – and don't worry. I'm sure he'll be okay. I've been doing this for many years and I can always tell the fighters. Your husband is one of them and he has you to look forward to." With a gentle pat on her arm the nurse turned and left. Sam took a deep breath and slowly opened the door.

She walked in, noticing the nurse who sat behind the desk in the corner of the room. She was illuminated by a soft light and was checking the monitors that showed all of Jack's vital signs. Closing her eyes, Sam took a deep breath and looked at Jack.

As much as she'd told the nurse she was used to this, the fact was that you never _could_ be used to seeing a friend, or someone you loved, in this situation. Jack's face was pure white and looked sunken, as if the flesh was covering nothing but bone. Half of his face was bruised, the bandage on his head appearing stark against the mottled blue and black flesh.

His arm, the one that had been broken, was heavily bandaged and lay on a pillow beside him. There was some kind of monitor on his fingers, probably to make sure his hand was getting enough blood flow.

His shoulders were bare although she could see the bandage around his chest, just peaking up over the blankets that covered the rest of him. It looked as if they were some kind of 'warming' blanket. He probably needed it after the hypothermia and blood loss.

She could tell he was hooked up to various monitors and machines. Tubes ran into and out of him at various places – many discretely running under the blankets.

She was glad to see that he had a simple canula in his nose, delivering oxygen, rather than being intubated. He hated that and it looked frightening.

She slowly moved to stand next to him, not daring to touch him. Finally, she reached out a tentative hand and gently moved a strand of hair out of his face. She then carefully stroked the side of his face which wasn't bruised, loving the chance to touch him.

"Oh Jack", she whispered, conscious of the nurse. "What have you done to yourself? You've got to stop getting yourself into so much trouble." As she spoke he seemed to turn his face into her hand, as if relishing the comfort her fingers brought.

"Would you like to sit down, Mrs O'Neill?" the duty nurse asked. She walked over and picked up the lone chair in the room and brought it close to the bed.

"Yes, thank you." Sam took it and sat down, all the while watching Jack. As she had taken her hand away he appeared a little restless.

"It calms them down when you touch them." the nurse spoke softly.

Nodding, knowing it was true from her many years of bedside vigils, she reached out and took Jack's hand. Holding it she stroked his long fingers. He immediately settled down.

As she sat with him over the next couple of hours, she thought back to what Daniel and Teal'c had said. She was no closer to a resolution but knew she was at a turning point in her life. Whatever happened, whichever path she chose, would be the final one. If she turned from Jack now she knew she would have no more chances. He would close himself off from her forever.

Could she live with that, she wondered? Would it, in fact, make it easier for both of them in the long run? Maybe if they had a definite end they could get on with their lives. Maybe then each of them could find another person to love; someone they were allowed to be with. Even thinking that, however, hurt. She couldn't imagine not having Jack in her life. He was part of who she was, who she had become. Could she honestly move on to someone else? She'd tried it with Pete and it hadn't worked.

On the other hand, what if Jack were the one to move on? What if he found someone else to love? How would she feel? She didn't have to think about that one for long. Just contemplating that idea made her feel sick. It made her realize how strong Jack had been when she'd taken up with Pete. How had he done it?

Sighing, she realized that Daniel was right. Now was not the time to make this decision. She'd wait and see. Maybe the General himself would change his mind once he wasn't on the verge of dying. One will do and say all sorts of things at those moments. He might just act as if nothing had happened. Hell, maybe he wouldn't even remember what had been said.

By the time morning finally came Sam was so tired she couldn't keep her eyes open. She had rested her head on the side of Jack's bed and had fallen asleep. It was when she felt a gentle hand in her hair that she woke up.

"Huh", she licked her dry mouth and tried to make sense of where she was. It was the sound of the heart monitor that brought everything back to her. With that she sat up straight, knocking Jack's hand from where it had been resting on her head. She looked at him quickly and saw that his eyes were open, if unfocused.

"Hi", she said quietly, glancing quickly at the nurse to see if she'd noticed he was awake. The nurse gave her an answering smile and nodded. Everything was fine, she seemed to say.

Turning back to Jack she saw that he was trying to speak.

"Shhhh", she whispered. "You're okay. You're in hospital and everything is going to be fine." He continued to look at her and try to lick his lips.

"Can I give him some water?" she turned and asked the nurse.

"Here – you can give him some ice chips. Just do it slowly." The nurse handed her a Styrofoam cup and a spoon. Carefully capturing a small ice-chip she spooned it into his mouth. He closed his eyes and sucked on it, clearly enjoying the cool moisture.

Once he finished it he opened his eyes and looked at the cup again. Grinning, she gave him another chip.

"You'll owe me for this Sir." He looked at her and smiled slightly, although with obvious effort.

"shk"

"What?" she bent over and tried to listen as he spoke again.

"Jk" she looked at him, confused, and they it struck her.

"Are you saying 'Jack'?"

He nodded slightly.

"No, my name is Sam." he rolled his eyes at that, which pleased her enormously.

"Sorry! Do you mean you want me to call you 'Jack'?" she asked, a little hesitatingly.

He nodded again, also with a little grin.

"Okay S – Jack. It's better that way anyway since we're married." His eyes opened wide and he looked terribly confused.

She was getting way too much enjoyment out of this situation, she thought. The man was still terribly ill – but having him awake, and being able to joke with him, brought such a sense of relief that she felt slightly giddy.

She leaned over closely, so the nurse wouldn't hear, and whispered.

"They'd only let family in, S-Jack, so Daniel told the doctor I was your wife. I'm afraid you'll have to go along with it for a little while, at least until you're better."

He reached out, blindly, until he found her hand. He was so weak he could barely grasp it but, when he did, he gave it a small squeeze and attempted to speak.

"Lk- t – frver."

She sat, trying to figure out what he'd said. When he repeated it she looked at him, puzzled,

"Like to forever?" he nodded and closed his eyes. It took her a moment to realize what he meant – that he'd like to go along with the ruse forever. Did that mean what she thought? Was he telling her he would like to be married to her? Holy Crap! Now what was she going to do. She looked at him a little longer and then leaned down.

"Me too, Jack, me too." With a faint smile on his face he drifted back to sleep.


	4. Goodbye

Over the next few days Sam spent as much time as she could sitting with Jack. He was mostly out of it, with only brief moments of consciousness. The doctors were guardedly cautious, saying he was improving slowly every day. At one point Sam had thought about retrieving the healing device but knew the powers that be weren't about to let it travel to Nebraska unless Jack was on the verge of death! She'd talk to Hammond and see if she could use it when he was well enough and had returned to Colorado.

As Jack got a little better both Daniel and Teal'c had been allowed into the ICU and had sat for short periods of time with the General. The first time that O'Neill had come to when Teal'c was there he'd looked a little confused, expecting to see Sam.

"Sam?" he'd asked, worried. It wasn't that he wasn't happy to see Teal'c – it was just that he had this terrible sense of foreboding. He didn't know from where it had come.

"She is fine, O'Neill. She is resting. Would you rather have her here?" Teal'c's voice was as steady as ever but Jack could sense the hurt tone in his friend's voice.

"No, course not. It's good to see you, my friend. I was just worried something had happened to S- Carter." He spoke softly and breathlessly. It still hurt to speak too much.

"Everything is fine with Colonel Carter. She felt the need to 'clean up a little'. She informed me she was feeling 'stale' after sitting with you for so many days. I did not know that humans could get stale. I thought that was for bread."

Jack choked. "Ow, Teal'c – don't make me laugh. You know darn well what she meant."

"Indeed." Teal'c smiled slightly. "It is good to see you regaining your health O'Neill. We were worried about you."

"Oh, you know me – an old war horse – I'm tough as shoe leather."

"Yes, that is what I told Daniel Jackson and Colonel O'Neill. They were afraid."

"Thanks buddy. I know I can always count on you to be a shining light of optimism." He was growing tired so he simply closed his eyes, enjoying the quiet companionship of his friend. It was a few minutes later, just as he was drifting off into sleep that Teal'c spoke again.

"O'Neill"

"Hmmm?"

"O'Neill, there is something I must tell you."

"What?" Jack opened his eyes and looked tiredly at his friend. Teal'c looked serious and he hoped it wasn't something bad. He suddenly worried again about Sam.

"What is it?" he tried to sit up a bit but it was too painful. As the monitors sped up the nurse looked up in concern.

"You must calm yourself. It is nothing bad." He bent down so his face was close to the General's. "I am your brother." He sat back up, looking expectantly.

"Yeah – so?" Jack looked confused. What did he mean?

Leaning down again Teal'c spoke. "The doctor would only speak to family so I told him I was family. I hope you do not mind?"

Jack looked at him, bemused. He could only wonder what the doctor had thought of that one. With a small grin he asked,

"Did the doctor buy that?"

"Daniel Jackson told him I was your adopted brother and that Colonel Carter was your wife. I do not know whether or not he believed him or not but he seemed to accept it. I did not wish you to be offended."

Jack smiled – actually, he would have laughed if it hadn't hurt so much. He could just imagine the poor doctor. And Daniel, of course, rode to the rescue again. "That's okay Teal'c. In fact, I'm honored. I always thought of you as the brother I never had anyway – the very much older brother of course." He looked puckishly at the Jaffa.

Teal'c looked at him, an inscrutable expression on his face. "Thank you O'Neill. I too am honored." Standing up he looked down as the pain-filled face of his friend, his brother. "I will go now, you need to rest." He turned and headed for the door.

"Hey, I'm okay, you don't have to go."

Teal'c turned and looked at him. "Young ones need their rest, O'Neill. As your 'much older' brother, I am telling you it is time for your nap. Daniel Jackson will be in to see you later." With that, he left, leaving Jack with the realization that his Jaffa friend had had the last laugh.

With a slight grin he closed his eyes and was quickly in dreamland.

"So Jack, the doctor says you can get out of ICU tomorrow. Your tests are all looking good and they think they'll be able to take you off dialysis soon. They'll have to keep monitoring your fluid output of course, and if it looks like things haven't healed enough they may need to put you back on but it looks good." Daniel was speaking a mile a minute, fascinated by all the equipment.

"Thanks Daniel – nice to have an update on my bodily functions", O'Neill answered grumpily. He hated this part of it – hated being attached to machines and the indignity of having his body handled, poked and prodded. He hated that he couldn't get out of bed but had to have the nurses do everything – and he meant everything – for him. When he was so sick that he was out of it he didn't care. But now that he was aware it just – bothered him. He'd have thought that he'd have gotten used to it by now. He'd been here often enough – but he still hated it.

He knew Daniel was just trying to be helpful and felt bad for snarking at him but couldn't help it. Sam hadn't been in to see him for more than a day and no one was telling him anything. They just said she was fine, that she was resting. He knew they were lying but when he tried to press it they'd leave or insist on changing the subject.

He'd known it was too good to be true. He should have realized that something said in a moment like that, when she'd found him in the plane, wasn't something to count on. She'd probably only said it to make him feel better. She probably thought he was dying. Nothing like giving the dying man his final wish – it's not like she'd have to fulfill the promise.

Now that he'd gotten better he was pretty sure she was regretting what she'd said. She was most likely trying to figure a way to let him down gently. She still wouldn't want to hurt the wounded General! God, maybe he should do it instead. It would be kinder to her if he just told her it had been a mistake, in a moment of weakness. He would tell her that their careers were still too important, he couldn't retire and she was needed. That would relieve her of trying to let him down gently. Yes, that's what he'd do.

Daniel was still talking – about what Jack had no idea. He suddenly turned to his friend and interrupted.

"Daniel, I need to speak with Carter. Can you get her for me?"

"What?"

"Carter – I need to talk to her. Can you have her come here?"

"Uh – well, I think maybe it's time for your nap. I'll ask her to come by later, okay?"

"No Daniel – it's not time for my God damned nap!" he was sick of being treated like a child. "I want to speak with Carter. Would you just get her for me?"

"Uh – I can't Jack."

"What? Why not?"

"She's not here." Daniel was biting his lip, looking _**extremely**_ uncomfortable.

"Where is she?" Jack looked confused. What was this?

"She flew back to Colorado. She had to go check on something. She'll be back later this evening."

"Why did she fly back? Is something wrong at the SGC?" he looked worriedly over at Daniel. Was there some kind of emergency? He was feeling so useless!

"No, it was nothing like that. It was – uh – personal." God, Daniel knew something like this would happen. Why the hell hadn't she just said something to him before leaving?

As soon as Jack had been well enough to have Daniel and Teal'c visit, Sam had decided she had to return and speak with Pete. She'd called him the morning after they'd found Jack and simply said she had to stay – the General was gravely ill. When he'd offered to come she'd told him that no, there was no point, but that she'd come to him as soon as possible. That he suspected something was obvious, but he was also considerate enough not to push it.

He was a good man, she realized. She hated the fact that she was going to hurt him. He certainly didn't deserve this.

She flew into Denver six days after the General had been admitted to hospital and arranged for a taxi to take her directly to Pete's house. He wouldn't be there yet but she had a key and he knew she was coming. As she let herself in she knew that this was going to be one of the most difficult things she'd ever had to do. Replicators, Goa'uld – heck, even Senator Kinsey - paled into comparison on the 'what frightens Samantha Carter' scale.

She fixed herself a tea and sat on Pete's couch, waiting for his shift to end. She couldn't help but notice all the pictures of her he had placed around his apartment. Damn, this got harder by the minute.

She'd been there almost an hour when she heard the key in the lock. Here goes, she thought! She stayed seated as he walked into the room. He stood in the doorway, his coat and boots still on, and just looked at her. Yup, she thought, he definitely knows something is up.

"Sam." he said, no expression on his face.

"Hi Pete. I hope you don't mind that I let myself in?"

"Of course not. That's why I gave you the key." He turned around and began to busy himself by taking off his coat and putting his things away. He hadn't said anything about missing her or being glad to see her. This was painful.

Finally, when he was done he walked into the room and sat in the chair across from her. "So, how's the General?"

"He's better although still not out of the woods yet. He's still in ICU but he's looking better every day."

"I see. I guess that's good then." He didn't say anything more. Okay, he was going to leave this totally up to her. She couldn't blame him, really. She was the one who had been unfair to him – never the other way around.

"I came to apologize Pete." She looked at him carefully, wondering how he'd take her words.

"What for? Did you do something?" he sounded bitter. Uh oh, she thought, he suspects that I was unfaithful to him.

"I treated you unfairly", she answered. "You've been nothing but kind and considerate of me Pete –"

He interrupted, "I loved you for God's sake. How was I supposed to treat you? Like some sort of convenient escort for when I wasn't off doing more important things?"

Ouch, he was definitely bitter – but she knew she deserved it.

"Look Pete. I honestly thought we had a chance. You're a good man and I care for you deeply. I never wanted to be unfair to you, never wanted to treat you like a 'convenience'. I wanted a life with you – I wanted to love you and be with you. I never wanted to hurt you."

"You keep saying 'wanted' Sam – but it's not what you want now, is it?" he spoke softly, sadly.

"I'm sorry Pete. I thought I did, I truly did. I've only just realized that you're too good a man for me. You deserve someone who loves you wholeheartedly and I'm afraid that can't be me. I care for you Pete – but I don't love you like that, not like you deserve."

"It's him, isn't it?"

"Him?"

"O'Neill – you and he, you've had a thing for years, haven't you?" this time he was angry. Oh yeah, he thought she'd been unfaithful.

"Yes and no Pete. I realized, when he was hurt, that I loved him, that I've loved him for years. But you're wrong if you think we've ever had a 'thing'. The General and I have never had anything but a professional relationship – or at least we've never been more than friends. We couldn't – can't have – it's against the rules. That doesn't stop the way I feel though. I just know that, feeling like I do, it would be unfair to you – to any man – to try and have a relationship. Please believe me Pete - I was never unfaithful to you."

"Maybe not in body, Sam, but I expect you were unfaithful in your mind and your heart." He wouldn't look at her but wanted to strike out, to hurt her as much as she had hurt him.

"No, you're wrong. I was never unfaithful, even in my mind or my heart – not when I was with you. It was only when I heard that he'd been in an accident that I listened to what my heart was really saying." She looked at him; his head bowed, and knew that it would be a long time before he recovered. She wished there was something, anything she could do – but knew she was the wrong person. The best she could do was leave.

She stood up and placed his ring, the one she'd been holding in her hand, and his key, gently down on the coffee table.

"I know you'll never forgive me and I understand that. I just hope that one day you'll know that I did the right thing. You'll find someone wonderful who loves you the way you deserve. Thank you for everything Pete – thank you for loving me." With those final words she turned and, taking her coat, walked out of his apartment. As she closed the door softly behind her she thought she heard him cry a plaintive "Sam". Heartbroken, she left.


	5. A New Year

**_So here's the end of the story. I hope you've enjoyed and I'd love your feedback. Remember, there's nothing that keeps an author (even a rank amateur) going more than comments and reviews. For those who are wondering, I'm getting back to my other story right away._**

Daniel had stuttered and tried to think of an excuse but finally gave up when it was obvious Jack was no longer listening. He grew worried as he saw the set look on his friend's face. Jack clearly thought Sam had left him – or was preparing to leave – and was closing himself off emotionally.

Oh boy, Daniel had seen this before and it wasn't a good thing. Maybe the best thing would be to simply come out and tell Jack the truth, that she had gone to break things off with Pete. That would surely make O'Neill feel better.

But he had promised. Sam had made him swear on everything holy that he wouldn't tell. He wondered briefly if she'd made Teal'c promise as well. Maybe he could tell Jack? Sighing, he looked at his friend. Jack had shut his eyes and closed out the world. Maybe the best thing was to leave it to Sam.

The problem with that was that the two of them had never done well at talking or figuring out things of a personal nature. Oh, when it came to saving the world they were great together. But personally, they were just too used to closing themselves off from each other and he could see this whole thing going FUBAR real fast. Okay – what's better – a pissed Sam or a Jack in a black despair.

"Jack", he decided he would rather deal with Sam any day.

"Jack", he repeated when he got no answer.

"What Daniel? What do you want? Can you not just leave me alone? I'm a sick man, remember."

"Yeah, I know. You're also an idiot."

Jack slowly opened his eyes at that and looked over at Daniel. Oooh, thought the archaeologist, now I know what it means when they write about shooting daggers with the eyes!

"Thanks Dr. Jackson, nice to know your opinion of me. Don't let the door hit your ass on the way out."

"No, I won't Jack – because I'm not leaving. Not until you've listened to me."

"I don't want to listen to you Daniel – don't you get that?"

"Oh, I get it alright. You're doing your usual, fingers in the ear while you hum, routine. But this time it's not going to work. You are on the verge of screwing up royally and I – in fact Teal'c and I – won't let you, either of you."

"Either of us? Who are you talking about Daniel?"

"Sam, and you know it. We've watched for years as the two of you have danced around each other and we're sick of it. You were made for each other and it looked like things were finally getting on track. Now, because you've convinced yourself that something bad is happening you're ready to throw in the towel – before you even know what the hell is happening."

"So what is happening – why won't you tell me the truth instead of practically choking on your tongue?"

"Maybe because I promised Sam I wouldn't say anything? Maybe because she's my friend and I respect her decision on this. Maybe because I thought you were smart enough that I shouldn't have to say anything. Like I said Jack, you're an idiot."

Jack looked at him, not quite sure what to make of this conversation, although, if he were honest with himself it had given him a measure of comfort. He still didn't know what was going on but Daniel seemed to indicate there was still a chance that he and Sam – nope, don't go there O'Neill. He wished there was some wood he could knock on; he so didn't want to jinx things.

"So Daniel, you're telling me I could screw things up here? Is that right?" He looked carefully at Daniel. If you knew how to do it you could usually get Daniel to spill his secrets.

"Yes Jack, I am."

"So, that seems to imply that things are presently …. good …. is that right?"

"Yeah, I guess", Daniel looked at him suspiciously. What was Jack up to now?

"So, if things are good then the fact that Sam is gone isn't bad, is that right?"

"I think so."

"You _**think**_ so?"

"Well hey, I don't know everything. I suggest you just wait and see. But don't go and get yourself all bummed out over nothing." Daniel stood up, deciding he'd better leave before Jack dragged everything out of him. He knew his friend well enough to know that he was a master of interrogation and that soon he'd get Daniel to spill all.

"Just remember Jack – she cares for you." On that note he left.

"Daniel!" Jack called. Damn, he'd escaped. Now Jack was really confused.

Sam was furious that she couldn't fly back to Lincoln right away. She'd been snowed in when a major blizzard had hit Colorado. She'd made it back to Colorado Springs right after leaving Pete's – she'd wanted to stop in at the SGC and update everyone. By the time she'd left the mountain the storm was going full blast. She barely made it home. She'd called Daniel right away and explained the situation to him.

"Damn!" he replied. "This is going to make things harder."

"What Daniel? What do you mean?"

"Well, Jack was pretty bummed out that you were gone with no word to him. You know him, he started imagining all sorts of bad things. I was able to nip that in the bud but now he's going to start to worry again."

"Shit! I should have said something. I just thought I could fly in and out quickly. I should have known the weather wouldn't cooperate. Daniel, did you tell him?"

"No Sam, I didn't. He tried thumbscrews and the rack but I held out. I don't know how long I can do it though. Not if you're stuck there."

"I appreciate it Daniel. I'll try to get back as soon as possible and tell him myself."

There was a pause until finally Daniel asked, compassion in his voice, "Did you do it Sam?"

Another pause and then, "Yes".

"Are you okay?"

"No. It was awful Daniel. He was so crushed. I felt terrible for what I've done to him."

"Sam, I know it's hard, but it was the right thing. You know you weren't right for him – you would have made him much more miserable in the long run. He'll know that one day."

"I hope so. I just don't ever want to hurt anyone like that ever again." She sniffed.

"Good! That means you're going to make Jack one very happy man."

"Daniel, I didn't mean-"

"Yes you did", he interrupted. "If you turn Jack down he'll be in a much worse state than Pete and you know it. Jack has had to endure a lot, Sam, and you're one of a very few things that are good in his life. Don't take that away from him, especially since it's what you want and need as well."

"But what about the Air Force Daniel? What are we going to do?"

"I don't know - you'll think of something – Jack'll think of something. Both of you are masters at pulling rabbits out of your butts."

"I think that's 'hats' Daniel."

"There too. Come on – don't give up before you've even given it a shot. Jack's almost got himself convinced you're better off without him – you know him. Just get here quickly and kick his ass. You'll make him a very happy man." With that he said goodbye and hung up quickly. She needed to make the decision on her own although he was glad to have given her her own 'kick in the ass'.

As he sat staring at his phone he realized he was going to have to go and tell O'Neill that Sam was going to be late. Crap, he said to himself. Why did he get to be the one to tell Jack? Where was Teal'c? Maybe he could con him into being the messenger?

Jack had taken the news stoically, convinced at first that they were lying about the storm and sure that Sam wasn't coming. When Daniel and Teal'c had realized where his mind had gone, Daniel had stormed out of the room, returning half and hour later with an orderly and a TV set. They set it up and turned it on to the Weather Channel. They showed Jack the storm over Colorado and the reason Sam was delayed.

"Okay, satisfied Jack?"

When Jack didn't answer, but just looked stubborn, Teal'c stepped over beside the bed.

"Do not be an equine's hind quarters, O'Neill. Samantha will get here once the storm clears."

It was late by the time Sam finally made it to Lincoln. She'd caught another transport plane – hoping that bad luck wouldn't strike twice. By the time she'd arrived she was freezing cold, tired and hungry. As she waited for a driver to pick her up and take her to the hospital she looked at her watch. It was almost 2300 hours. It was only as she stood there that she realized something else. Today was December 31st. It was New Year's Eve.

She hoped that they'd let her into the hospital at this late hour. The fact that they thought she was his 'wife' had to count for something. She was sure Daniel and Teal'c had returned to their hotel hours ago. She knew she should probably head there as well; Jack was probably sleeping by now anyway.

She arrived at the hospital in the cold and dark. As she walked in all she saw was a lonely cleaner, washing the floor. He looked up and gave her a quick 'Happy New Year', which she returned. She just wished it was going to be true, although she was pretty doubtful.

She'd spent hours, after her discussion with Daniel, trying to decide what to do. Either decision brought its share of pain. The one way was personal happiness (she hoped) and career failure – the other was the possibility of an illustrious career but the end of hopes and dreams.

"Damnit!" she had yelled to her bathroom mirror, "why does this have to be so difficult? Whoever wrote those stupid rules oughta be, be sent to Netu!" She threw her brush towards the mirror, smashing it into a thousand pieces.

"Okay, that was very mature, Sam", she said, calming down. She knew things had gotten bad when she started attacking poor, defenseless inanimate objects. With a groan she dropped her head in her hands – cursing the dam weather, the Air Force, meddling friends and sexy Generals.

So, now she stood, outside Jack's room. He'd been moved to a private room from the ICU and, according to Daniel, was doing better every day. He was still on complete bed rest and they were carefully monitoring his kidney and liver functions. She smiled when she remembered Daniel's description of Jack's rant about the nurses checking his 'damned pee bag'.

"How would you feel, Daniel, if someone came by every hour to measure how much you'd pissed?" Jack had complained. "I want this damn hose outta me. I've been peeing on my own since I was two years old. Don't they know I'm a God damned General for heaven's sake?"

"I'm sure they do Jack. They probably think it's a tremendous honor to measure a General's pee. Just think – one day, when you're famous and everyone knows about the 'gate, the nurses here can brag that they know how much you peed every hour." Daniel stood, with an innocent expression on his face looking at his friend.

"#$% off Jackson!" Daniel, retreated at that point, figuring, rightly so, that Jack would be happier if he were gone.

Later, when he and Teal'c returned, Jack was feeling much better. He had finally been allowed some solid food – always a good thing with Jack. A hungry General was a grumpy General!

Of course, he couldn't eat much. All he had was some broth and a bowl of jello. He'd been barely able to finish that but, after the first tiny bout of nausea, had actually felt better. Certainly he felt in a better mood.

"Hi Daniel, Teal'c."

"Hi Jack", Daniel said tentatively. He looked carefully to see if the General was planning to rip him a new one.

"So, what's up?"

"Well, you're looking up. Feeling better?"

"Yeah, a bit. I just wish I could sit up. It gets tiresome lying flat. I've asked for a TV so that'll help." He was determined to try and stay positive. He knew it wouldn't take much to fall into a depression. He still didn't quite believe that Sam was coming back although he kept hoping.

"Well, we just wanted to stop by and check on you. We have to head back to the hotel. Visiting hours are over in five minutes. Just let us know if you need anything and we can try and pick it up tomorrow, if the stores are open."

"Why wouldn't they be?" Jack asked, puzzled.

"It's New Year's Day, Jack. Didn't you know?"

"No. I've kind of lost track of time since I've been here. How long _have_ I been here anyway?" He just realized he hadn't even asked. It had really only been the last couple of days that he was aware enough to even start worrying about anything.

"Uh, you've been here eight days."

"Eight! You're kidding, right? I can't have been here that long."

"Yeah, you have. You were out of it for almost a week. I don't think you realize how badly you were hurt Jack. You're really lucky to be alive."

"I know", Jack looked seriously at his friends. "I have you guys to thank – as usual." He smiled faintly. He had long ago lost count of how many times he'd been saved by his team. A warm glow spread through him as he realized how much he loved these guys. Of course, he'd never tell them – at least not in so many words.

"Well, I think you had as much to do with it as anyone O'Neill." Teal'c said seriously.

"How so?" He looked at his friends curiously.

"Well", Daniel looked slightly uncomfortable. "We were about to head back to base when we all heard you singing 'The First Noel' – then Teal'c looked over and saw a light shining over the crash. If it hadn't been for those things we wouldn't have found you in time."

Jack stared blankly at his friends. What were they talking about?

"I don't sing", he said bluntly.

"Well, you were singing that night. You even told us that when we arrived."

"Did not."

"Did too."

"Did not. I don't sing."

"Actually O'Neill, you have a pleasant voice. And Daniel Jackson is correct. You were singing."

"Okaaaaay. If you say so." He looked anything but convinced. He couldn't remember much of anything of the time after the crash. The only thing that stayed in his mind was a picture of Sam. If they believed he'd been singing, well who was he to argue. Although he still thought it was weird. He didn't even know the words to 'The First Noel.'

"Night Jack", Daniel's voice intruded on his thoughts. "Good Night O'Neill", Teal'c added. "Happy New Year", they both chorused.

Waving to them both he gave a small "Happy New Year" back. He hoped it was going to come true.

It was much later that night that Sam stood outside the door, hesitating to go in. She smiled at the night nurse who gave her a small nod and mouthed, 'Happy New Year'. With the number of times she'd been told this evening she could only hope that maybe it would come true.

Taking a deep breath, she opened the door and walked in.

Jack had simply lain there, staring up at the ceiling, for a long time after his friends had left. The nurses had been in a couple of times to check his 'pee bag' and to fiddle with the catheter. For once he'd paid them no attention. He knew he didn't have anything they hadn't seen many times before anyway (although he secretly hoped they were somewhat impressed!)

All he could think of was Sam and what was going to happen. He knew he had to do the right thing. He couldn't destroy her career – and in so doing hurt earth's chances in the galactic fight in which they were engaged. With that decision made, he rang the bell for the nurse.

"Yes General. What can I help you with?"

"Can you get me a phone? It's very important."

"Well, you're supposed to be resting. You really shouldn't be working."

"Oh, it's not work", he replied, trying to look innocent. "I just want to say Happy New Year to a close friend."

She pursed her lips and looked doubtful for a moment but finally agreed. She went and brought a phone and plugged it in beside his bed.

"Okay, just a few minutes though. I'll be back to make sure you're resting."

"No problem. Thank you."

As soon as the nurse had left he lifted the receiver."

The call finished, he put the phone down and closed his eyes. He was exhausted – emotionally and physically. That had been hard – far harder than he'd thought. Soon, he'd drifted off to sleep.

As she opened the door she looked over to the bed, washed in the soft light from the open window. Jack was asleep, his face looking better, but still worn and gaunt. She just stared at him, full of love for this man, and so desperately not wanting to hurt him. But she knew it was most likely going to happen.

She didn't want to wake him; he needed his sleep, but she allowed herself the indulgence of simply watching him for a while. It was rare that she got to see him so unguarded.

"Whatchya doing?" his soft voice floated across the room. It seemed so right, so natural, that it took her a moment to realize that he was awake and looking at her.

"Oh, I'm sorry Sir. I didn't mean to wake you."

"You didn't", when she looked skeptical he grinned. "Okay, maybe you did – but I'm glad you did. I didn't think I'd see you again." She looked puzzled at this.

"But didn't Daniel explain? I was simply snowed in. I wanted to be back the day before yesterday. I felt terrible that I couldn't make it."

There was something – maybe it was the darkness, split only by soft moonlight, or maybe it was the time or the fact that it was the end of the year – whatever it was, there were suddenly no inhibitions, no barriers. The two friends – the two lovers, if only in their hearts, looked at each other openly and spoke softly.

"I thought you were telling me it was over – that you'd made a mistake." He answered her honestly. "You don't have to go fishing with me Sam – not if you don't want to. I know you only said it because you thought I was dying."

"I went to tell Pete we were through, that it was over." He looked at her, startled. For some reason, maybe because it allowed for too much hope, he hadn't once thought that that could be the reason for her absence.

"I knew, as soon as I heard you had crashed, that I'd made a terrible mistake. I knew I didn't love him. I couldn't let it go on any longer but I knew I couldn't say anything over the phone so I went to see him. I didn't expect it would take so long. I thought Daniel and Teal'c would cover for me until I got back."

"Why didn't you want me to know?"

"Because I doubted too. I thought you'd changed your mind – that what was said was only because you were hurt and in pain. I would never hold you to that and I knew that if you thought I'd broken it off with Pete because of that – you'd feel guilty and that it would force you to do something you really didn't want to do."

"That I didn't want to do?" he asked, confused.

"That you really didn't mean what you'd said – that you really didn't want me to go fishing."

"Carter – I've always wanted you to come fishing with me. You know that."

"Yes, but I've also always known that you never expected me to say yes."

At this he stopped. She was right. He knew she was too concerned about rules – as was he surprisingly enough – to ever say yes. That's why he could keep asking.

"You're right Sam – I knew you'd refuse. This time, though, was different. This time I really meant it."

"Did you? It wasn't the pain and weakness talking?"

"Well, yes – but only in that they made me be honest, they made me realize what was important. But Sam – I would never hold you to that. Not when you promised something because I was dying and you wanted me to 'go happy' so to speak."

"I didn't"

"Didn't what", Geesh – this talking was confusing.

"I didn't think you were dying. I knew we'd reached you in time. I knew you were going to be okay. I didn't say it because I wanted you to feel better. I said it because I meant it. I still do."

"Really?" he asked, his eyes growing round. What was happening here? He'd been all ready to be magnanimous and let her go but it kinda – uh sorta – seemed like she didn't want to be let go.

"So, let me get this straight – you really wanted to uh go fishin' with me?"

"Yes, and I still do."

"And you still do?"

"Yes", she smiled, a slow, very knowing smile. He started to smile back when he remembered something.

"But Sam – your career – what about that?"

"What about it?"

"This could destroy it. You can't give up a brilliant career for an old, worn out General."

"Yes I can – and anyway, you're _my_ old, worn out General." She got a huge grin on her face, as he looked slightly offended at this. It was one thing for him to call himself old – it was ano-

"Come on Jack – you're not old – in fact you're my very sexy General. You have to know I've lusted after you for years."

"You have?" sounding very pleased. But wait, she was distracting him. "Carter – really, you can't give up your career, not for me."

"Well, it's just as much for me S-Jack. Anyway, hopefully I won't have to give it up completely. I'll ask for a transfer or something. If we're not in the same chain of command it'll be better."

"But there'll still be rumors."

"I know. And you know what – screw the rumors. I've had to live with them my whole life anyway. Being a daughter of a General I've often been accused of riding Daddy's shirttails. Now they'll just add you. People who know me know it's not true – that's all I really care about."

Okay, Jack was lying there feeling totally stunned. The woman he loved, no, adored, just told him she was basically saying 'screw it' to her career out of love for him. It was a good thing they'd taken the heart monitor off because it would be screaming by now.

He looked at her and realized that suddenly she was looking rather nervous. He couldn't' figure that out until it dawned on him that she'd laid it all out there and he hadn't quite returned the favor. Oh, he'd told her he meant it but nothing beyond that.

Grinning he held out his hand. With a relieved look she walked over.

"So Sam – wanna come fishing?"

"Yes Jack – I definitely want to go fishing."

"Forever?" he asked, hopefully, but with a small, niggling doubt still present.

"Yes, Jack, to eternity and beyond."

"Sweet!"

For the next few moments all was quiet in the room as Sam gently leaned down and kissed him. She so wished he was well, and that she didn't have to be so careful. In one way, however, she was glad. This would force them to go a bit slow, even though she really just wanted to jump his bones.

Finally pulling back, knowing she shouldn't overexcite him in his still fragile condition, she stood looking down at him. Both of them had silly grins on their faces.

"Teal'c and Daniel are going to be relieved", Sam said.

"Yeah – I thing they were ready to kick our butts."

Sam giggled. "Actually, Daniel told me I should kick yours – that that would make you a happy man."

"Really? I'll have to get that Jackson. He's getting much too cocky."

"Jack, I should go. It's getting late and you need your sleep. We can talk some more tomorrow and figure out what to do."

"I already have."

"What?"

"Well, just on the off-chance that you meant what you said in the plane, I called Hammond."

"What?" this time with a screech. "What about all that talk about me throwing my career away?"

"Well, I wanted to make sure you were sure. If you'd had any doubts I wouldn't have continued."

"You're an idiot Jack!"

"Hey, what is this? Why is everybody calling me an idiot all of a sudden?"

"All of a sudden?" she grinned. Just you wait Samantha Carter, he thought to himself. You are soooo gonna pay for that.

"So Jack", she interrupted his very pleasant plans for revenge. "What did you do? What did you say to General Hammond?"

"Well, I really didn't want to screw up your career so I called to tell him I was retiring."

"Retiring? No, you can't do that."

"Actually, you're right. He'd already spoken with the President and the Chief of Staff and they say I'm too valuable to the program", he snorted in disbelief.

He paused then and she looked at him with frustration. "And?"

"And they have offered me a solution."

"Okay – come on Jack, you're killing me. What did they say?"

"Well, I'm being promoted and taking over Hammond's job. I won't be Commander of the SGC anymore."

"That's wonderful Jack – but wait, we'll still be in the same chain of command – you'll just be higher up."

"Yeah – but not for a few months."

"What?"

"Well, when I said they wouldn't accept my resignation, I wasn't quite telling the truth. They have accepted it, for now. Hank Landry, an old friend of mine, is going to be taking over at the SGC. Due to my 'injuries' I'm retiring. In a few months, when I'm better, Hammond is going to announce his retirement. I'll be called back to active duty and will take over Homeworld Security. So, see?"

"No, not exactly. What does this matter if you're still in my chain of command."

"Sam, Sam, Sam, for a brilliant woman you're being kind of dense!" he sighed. "While I'm retired it will be perfectly all right for us to have a relationship. And if, during that time, we decide to say … uh …" he coughed, embarrassed and a bit worried, "if we decide to –"

"Get married?" she asked sweetly. Oooh, she was an evil woman, he realized. She'd gotten it right away.

"Yeah – get married. Then there's no problem. We can serve together." He finished, hoping to hell she'd agree.

She looked at him, her lips pursed and her eyes narrowed. For a second he thought he'd blown it.

"You'd better hurry up and get well."

"Uh, okay, why?"

"Cause I expect one helluva good honeymoon."

Just then they could hear some noise from outside. There were New Year's revelers wandering the streets blowing horns and singing. Glancing at her watch Sam realized it was midnight. Looking down at the bruised and battered man she loved she bent down and, with a soft sigh, she lay her lips on his.

"Happy New Year Jack."

"Yeah – it is", he answered with a sigh of his own.

_**The End (the real one this time).**_


End file.
